Mom meltdowns??

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Permalink Reply by Colby's Number One Fan on July 13, 2009 at 1:30am

Yes...I think I have had a meltdown month! haha It seems as if my emotions are definitely on a rollercoaster and I don't know what to expect every morning when I wake up anymore....it could be a good day or it could be a bad day depending on how long it has been since I have heard from him, etc. I know that when his PIR finally comes (just 26 days away now!) I will feel better because then I will be able to look in his handsome face and know he is ok and talk to him and hug him and tell him I love him every day. I can't wait!!!

LeAnn

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Permalink Reply by ChrisMom on July 13, 2009 at 10:32pm

You are SO not the only one! Just so happens I was feeling a whole lot of "poor little me, I miss my son!" the other day and one of my co-workers asked what was going on. I told her and guess what? Her son was leaving in 3 days. We're helping each other out, my son is two weeks ahead of hers and we're pulling each other along.

Look for friends going through this same thing. It seems to help.

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Permalink Reply by Denise on July 13, 2009 at 11:18pm

Just reading the meltdown stories and I am glad that I am not the only one that has these moments. I did so good when Victoria left for BC, I was strong and proud of my beautiful daughter. Then 2 days after she left I was standing in the kitchen washing a glass and saw her car in the drive I lost it. Then later on when the box came and I looked in it . Again I lost it. Her sister made me laugh though when she looked to see why I was in tears and suddenly annouces hey those are my shoes! I have done pretty well until these last few days, her PIR is on July 24th and as it gets closer I am crying more. Thanks ladies for sharing it makes me feel better knowing that it is ok to cry and that no I am not alone.

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Permalink Reply by Kelley(MomofASailor) on July 17, 2009 at 4:01pm

We know things only a mom knows, things only a mom can understand, a love for our children that began before they were even conceived and a bond that has grown stronger and closer with every year of their life. No one understands but other navy moms. Dads dont get it, siblings dont get it. Even my own mother doesnt get it. My daughter is 21 and my son is 20 and in his 4th week of bootcamp. All their lives and up until the day he left for GL my day was never over until I knew they were either both in their beds or they had called me saying they would be late or wouldnt be home for whatever reason. Even then, I didn't actually sleep until I heard their footsteps in the hallway and heard their doors close. Call me over protective? No, not really. Just a mom. My kids would never think of not calling me to let me know they were okay or wouldnt be home. I would still lay there at night, not sleeping and my husband would ask what was wrong and I would say 'nothing, just waiting for Robby to get home". He'd just roll over and sigh. He still doesnt get it, but he tries. Now...Robby doesnt come home, he doesnt call and say "I'm okay...just gonna be a little late", he doesnt knock on my door and say "Hey mom, I'm back", I don't know if he is laying in bed staring at the bottom of a top bunk or standing watch or dreaming that he is laying across the hall from me in his old bedroom again.....I don't know!!! And therefore, my day is not over!! My day has not been over since the day he left for GL. It's like groundhog day, the same bad day over and over again. I have not slept more that 2 hours a night for 4 weeks, and I have spent every other waking hour either writing him letters or searching navy websites for 'anything' or talking to my navymom friends on here. Talk about a meltdown...i am a living walking meltdown in process. I've had my more signifcant moments, like when the box came and when I missed his first phone call (his voice mail is still saved in my phone and I cannot play it w/o crying, he was so depressed no one answered their phones), or when I hear his favorite songs, and especially when his 21 month old niece knocks on his bedroom door saying "Ra-Ra?" "Ra-Ra?" and I have to tell her "Baby, Ra-Ra's not here right now". But most of the time it is in private tho... just a little moment to let it out all by myself where no one can hear or see me. I havent had the ability to empty his 'box' or even hang up the clothes he left scattered in his room yet tho I have tried everyday for over 4 weeks. Does a meltdown include going into a state of depression? I will be fine, I know. I just keep saying...Get past bootcamp, get past bootcamp....it will be better, it will be better!! Please someone, anyone tell me it will get better! But if one more person tries to tell me "He is fine", "Don't worry about him", "It's good for him to cut the apron strings finally", "Relax, your gonna see him in another month", (yeah...for a whole two hours since he is a Grad&Go) they are going to get the very wrong end of the live and in-person, sleep-deprived, navymom meltdown version that they do not want to experience!!! But I would at least probably feel better and maybe just maybe finally get some sleep! :)

Hurry up 08/14!!!

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Permalink Reply by Seabee Dtr on July 17, 2009 at 11:29pm

OMG, I am crying reading this. I remember bootcamp and feeling just like you do and being ready to punch out the next person who said "it was his decision". My meltdowns often included icecream, so now I am in one of the fitness groups trying to lose my bootcamp weight. It gets so much better. Even knowing my son is across the country from me, it was so wonderful to call him this morning and hear the frustration in his voice because he was sleeping in on his day off and I woke him up. You will be abe to do that soon and if feels so good. Bootcamp is the hardest, although our 1st deployment is coming up this month and I'm sure that will be very hard also. But there is nothing to prepare you for bootcamp. And when we went to PIR, I think I started crying the morning we left for the base, every sailor I saw put tears in my eyes. I only have a year under my belt, but bootcamp was the hardest, it has gotten easier. Now next month, it might change to deployment is the hardest, I dont know yet. Right now, I can call him in the morning, life is good. My prayers are with you and your sailor, hang in there and I'm crying with you now.

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