My daughter is changing her mind.. I'm so disapointed

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Permalink Reply by Carol CGB on August 30, 2008 at 7:41pm

Becky,
You have given your daughter direction but she has chosen otherwise. Don't beat yourself up. The Navy has much to offer and her opportunities for schooling are endless. Not only will she receive training in a viable field, but can earn money for college. The recently passed GI bill will guarantee recruits up to $40,000 for additional schooling while serving or after. Recruits are required to sign up for the GI bill while in boot camp, my son did and they deduct $100 a month from his pay (until passage of the new bill which foregoes the money), and he now has a college fund that, if he doesn't use it may be utilized by his dependents.

The main thing is let her know you support her decision to take time to think about this. It's a big decision and she may have gotten scared, especially if her father used the "we're in a time of war" argument. The Navy supports much of our other military branches, that is true, but depending on her choice of training, she may be in school for up to 3 years before deploying to any duty station.

Give her time and pat yourself on the back for giving her a solid foundation on which to build.

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Permalink Reply by Alison M. Field on August 30, 2008 at 10:35pm

Hi Becky, don't give up just yet. Have you talked to her dad? Have you found out his view on talking her out of joining? Maybe she just needs a little time. Did you talk to a recruiter yet, or has she? Try to support her in her decision and let her know you are not dissapointed in her . I'm sure it will all work out, after all the Navy isn't for everyone, although it is a great oppourtunity, and I'm certainly glad my son chose this path.But each one has thier own path to follow try to be there for her as she chooses hers. My son is 24 and just joined. There is always hope :)

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Permalink Reply by dusty's mom on August 30, 2008 at 11:02pm

She needs to want to be in the Navy. Let her make up her mind. She has time. She is still young and will find her way with your love and support.

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Permalink Reply by Tammy on September 1, 2008 at 7:21pm

Our sailor graduated from high school last year. He had 2 jobs before the end of last year. He just hung around with his friends and played on the computer. When we talked to him about joining he didn't say too much. Then he decided to join IF he couldn't find a job in 4 months. Well, he didn't find one so off he went. Hopefully she has time to re-think it. We didn't make life easy for him. We didn't give him any money first of all. And he had alot of chores to do since we were at work and he was home on and off all day. Good luck to you!

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Permalink Reply by Tracy, Proud Mom of Darryl on September 2, 2008 at 12:05am

Becky, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter changing her mind, I have gone through a similiar situation with my son, so I can some what feel your hurt.

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Permalink Reply by Mary, Proud Mom of Nick on September 2, 2008 at 9:26am

Joining the Navy or any branch of the service is a big commitment and I suspect it could be almost scary for our young folks. If she is not interested in college and has no real plan at this stage of life, I bet before long she will make the decision to join, it may take her a few more months but she will see her friends going on to college, carrying on with their futures and she may feel that she has been left behind with no plan and very well may come to the conclusion that the Navy can provide a solid future for her. Best wishes to your daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Achseh on September 2, 2008 at 10:07am

Nothing worse for the Navy and it's sailors than having some sailor serving with you who doesn't want to be there.

It's her decision Mom. The Navy is not the end all and be all --and this is from the wife of a 23 year Navy vet.

Believe me, we tried to talk our son OUT of joining. He did anyway and we support him 100%--it's his life and we love him and we'll be there for him.

Seek her out, give her a hug and apologize and then support whatever it is that *she* wants to do.

Good luck--tough position you're in!

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Permalink Reply by Teri (Boo's Mom) on September 2, 2008 at 11:44am

Becky,
You have received some wonderful advice for the Moms. I just wanted to share something with you as well. It's not just the joining that's hard for them, but afterwards as well. My son was in his 3rd week of basic when he realized he was so homesick that he went in and talked to his PO, asking him to find a way to send him home. His PO was VERY encouraging and told him his life story and how the Navy changed him and how he would have been a troublesome young man had he not enlisted. My son isn't into drugs or drinking or bad things and I know that if he hadn't enlisted he still would have done great things! Anyway after his talk with his PO, he stayed, PIR'd and is now in "A" school and loving every minute of it.

I'm sure your daughter will make the best choice.

Take care!

Teri

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Permalink Reply by Becky Schleichert on September 2, 2008 at 11:59am

I'm so glad that I posted my concern.. I've received so many responses .. everyone of them helped me realize that Rachel will have to make the decision when she's ready. I will be patient and continue to support her whatever she decides to do.. but at the same time.. she won't be getting "a free ride" at home.. She'll be helping with house work and paying something towards the bills. I will encourage her to keep the Navy out there as an option as soon as she's ready. I am so pleased I found this website.. All you parents should be very proud of your children.. My Dad was in the Navy as well as my Step Dad.. Good Job to all. When I graduated from high school 26 years ago.. I wish the military was an option.. didn't hear too much about females in the military back in 1982. ha ha

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Permalink Reply by Achseh on September 2, 2008 at 6:32pm

Good to hear, Mom! I think it's great that she'll be expected to contribute at home. It's hard having adult children living in the house for whatever reason but it gets harder when they still think they are "children" and don't want to grow up. lol

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Permalink Reply by ♥Kathy♥ on September 4, 2008 at 9:16am

Did she just graduate?
My son delayed goin in for like 3 months.I don't blame him. He wanted to enjoy the summer before he went. Myabe she just wants to chill for a bit??

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