what to do

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Permalink Reply by Becky on September 17, 2008 at 4:06pm

Hard as it is I would wait and tell him when you have to because he is already under stress and that much more will not help him . They will not let him leave any way and the most he would be able to do would be call.If it is very important that you get hold of him the red cross can maybe do that for you.

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Permalink Reply by judy crawford on September 17, 2008 at 4:08pm

you could call the chaplin or his recuriter.but his mom or parents might have to do that for you.boy this is a hard one.but i know someone who reads this wil have an answer for you.hope your daughter gets better real soon.

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Permalink Reply by Alison M. Field on September 17, 2008 at 4:25pm

Hi there, you could possibly contact his Recruiter, Ours was a big help in getting my sons address. Maybe yours could help you too.

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Permalink Reply by CTmomof3 on September 17, 2008 at 4:32pm

I am sorry that your daughter is so sick, hope that they find out what is wrong soon. As hard as it is for you as well as her, getting hold of him now is not the right thing to do. He is still in P week, which is very grueling and very stressfull he needs to stay focused on the "job at hand". During this week they are being processed, seen by Dr, Dentists, getting shots, eye exams, teeth pulled if necessary,not much sleep etc. and just plain ol getting used to becoming a sailor. He my be homesick as well and getting upsetting news from home would not be good at this point for his moral. The first order of business for the recruit is to mail home a form letter with his address on it. This usually arrives after the first full week or a little later. If he lived with his parents they are the ones he is required to send the letter to. Get the address from them and sent incouraging letters/cards he will need lots of positive things the next 8 weeks.

Best of luck to you, your daughter and her soon to be Sailor

Susan

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Permalink Reply by LisaErvin on September 17, 2008 at 5:23pm

Hi, BC is very stressful,so I would not send any news that would be upseting. He needs to stay focused on each task at hand. My son once wrote me, that it is all about getting through each task . you cant even think about the whole day. So now is the time to cheer him on from the side lines. I hope your daughter gets well very soon

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Permalink Reply by Donna on September 17, 2008 at 5:26pm

I am not sure if you call someone that they would even let him know. My father in law was on a sub and he had a death in the family and he wasn;t told till he got home because unless the sailor can go home they don't tell them bad news so the sailor isn't upset and distracted. Though on my sons ship one of the sailors father had a serious heart attack and he was able to go home. I guess they look at each situation. I hope your daughter gets well soon. I will keep her in my thoughts and please keep us updated on how she is doing.

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Permalink Reply by Karen Gallagher on September 17, 2008 at 6:24pm

Sorry that your daughter is ill, and I hope that she is better soon.

I would wait until you know something as it would not do him any good to have that worry at this time.

If you need to contact him you will have to get his family to do it you will not be able to do this and they must contact him throught the Red Cross (there is a link in navy links 101) as they are the only ones that can contact him for such a thing when they are in boot camp or away.

I hope an pray that your daughter is well soon Please keep us posted

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Permalink Reply by Paula on September 17, 2008 at 6:46pm

Unfortuantely you nor your daughter are family members so they will not release any information to you. How sick is she, is this something that she will pull through and be fine? Before you go trying to reach him, remember he is in bootcamp and the news could negatively affect him and his training.

If this is something that you believe can be harmful to him also, then I would contact great lakes recruit center but they are checked out and annoculated pretty well before they begin.

I am sure this is very hard on you. My personal opinion is don't tell him anything until you know something to tell him.

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Permalink Reply by Chris A. on September 17, 2008 at 7:09pm

I absolutely agree with most of the advice posted here. DON"T TELL HIM! Apart from the fact that you wouldn't be able to contact him about an emergency anyway (not being family), the worse thing for him right now is to be distracted by news that he can't do anything about. They won't let him come home for a girlfriend, only a parent or other close relative. I'm so sorry that your daughter is so sick but you need to keep this news from him until he's able to handle it. By then she may be well and you'd have worried him for nothing.

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Permalink Reply by NavyMom/Wife * Bretton's Mom* on September 17, 2008 at 7:18pm

I'm sorry about your daughter. And I understand how you want to get ahold of her boyfriend. But I wouldn't tell him. There isn't anything that he can do since he isn't her husband. Twenty plus years ago my, then boyfriend was on a west-pac when we found out my mom had terminal cancer. I wrote him, but there wasn't anything he could do, since I was just his girlfriend. All it did was stress him out and made being away even harder for him. Now after many years being a Navy wife, I know that I can't tell him everything when he is gone, there isn't anything he can do, and it really takes a toll on him. Your daughters boyfriend is going through an extreme amount of stress, and is doing what he has to do to make a future for himself and possibly your daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Mary, Proud Mom of Nick on September 17, 2008 at 7:56pm

I do hope that you will see quick improvement in your daughter. To reach a recruit while in training would only be accomplished by going thru Red Cross and then they can deliver a message in a family emergency so they may not accept the message since she is still his girlfriend.

Those initial weeks of bootcamp are pretty hard adjustment and they really need the recruits to focus. I would try to refrain from giving him more to worry about until you know better what her situation is. Our prayers will be with her for a speedy recovery.

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Permalink Reply by maria on September 17, 2008 at 8:40pm

I'm so sorry your daughter is sick. My prayers are with you. Hopefully she will be better soon and before he can receive mail. At this time he is so busy and occupied and theres nothing he can do. This is so hard to advise a mom who's dealing with this . I'm at a lose ,maybe his parents can help or even his recruiter. I hope she will be ok. maria

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