What is your Sailor doing with their paycheck?
Ok, this is of concern to me. I had set up a Savings Account for Rob at our local bank because while they are still under 21, there was no banking charge or minimum. Of course, we did have access and could check the account balance/make transfers on-line if we wanted.
I got home yesterday from work and he informed me that he closed that account and was going to open a checking account. He said he was going on his own now and really didn't want us having access to his account. I informed him that he did not really need a checking account at this point & time in his life. He has no bills to pay. I told him that he would probably be using a bank card in the military anyway -not checks. He has no clue about checking accounts -how and when to even write checks. Thing is, he is very impulsive -VERY! He had put $40.00 in out of a $180.00 check that he earned from working with my husband in our landscaping business and a week later had nothing to show for it and even took out $30.00 of the $40.00 & basically just 'blew' it! He is TERRIBLE with money. We have tried to encourage 'saving' his whole life to no avail. He doesn't see any reason to save and we might as well be talking to a brick wall. He has no financial sense at all. If he has access to his whole Navy paycheck - he'll certainly 'blow' it and really have NOTHING to show for it. I have no doubts about this. I encouraged him to get pictures each opportunity that arrived and The Keel. I also told him about the life insurance each month - he doesn't see the need for this either.
10 feet tall & bullet proof - nothing will ever happen to HIM. UGH!!!!! It is so frustrating. How do I knock some sense in to this kid? He will be the kind that will give his money away to other Sailors that are more than happy to use him. I think he mistakenly thinks that while he is in the Navy they pay for EVERYTHING - no matter what. Here again -UGH!!!!! How do I get through to him?
What are your kids doing with their money?
Any suggestions?
I got home yesterday from work and he informed me that he closed that account and was going to open a checking account. He said he was going on his own now and really didn't want us having access to his account. I informed him that he did not really need a checking account at this point & time in his life. He has no bills to pay. I told him that he would probably be using a bank card in the military anyway -not checks. He has no clue about checking accounts -how and when to even write checks. Thing is, he is very impulsive -VERY! He had put $40.00 in out of a $180.00 check that he earned from working with my husband in our landscaping business and a week later had nothing to show for it and even took out $30.00 of the $40.00 & basically just 'blew' it! He is TERRIBLE with money. We have tried to encourage 'saving' his whole life to no avail. He doesn't see any reason to save and we might as well be talking to a brick wall. He has no financial sense at all. If he has access to his whole Navy paycheck - he'll certainly 'blow' it and really have NOTHING to show for it. I have no doubts about this. I encouraged him to get pictures each opportunity that arrived and The Keel. I also told him about the life insurance each month - he doesn't see the need for this either.
10 feet tall & bullet proof - nothing will ever happen to HIM. UGH!!!!! It is so frustrating. How do I knock some sense in to this kid? He will be the kind that will give his money away to other Sailors that are more than happy to use him. I think he mistakenly thinks that while he is in the Navy they pay for EVERYTHING - no matter what. Here again -UGH!!!!! How do I get through to him?
What are your kids doing with their money?
Any suggestions?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by lauren on -
Hi Cindy ..this to will pass.It has to feel wonderful for him to be making his own money and choices of what to do with it .. He is young and needs to decide what is important to him. They have no control over what is going on with their lives right now and they need to have some control. You are not giving yourself enough credit. You should be proud that you raised him to take on the responsiblity .........I'm sure that he has learned from you while growing up..........but remember he is still growing up .........I have learned to trust my son, he spends his money way different than I would ........but not much different than how I would have spent it at 20 yrs old................maybe a great book on money : a simple one with an easy budget to figure out; when kids see the money grow somethimes they get into watching it grow. Also once he finds something he really wants he'll save ................and lastly the best thing that I have done... I stop paying for "ANYTHING" .........he needs your love and respect more than any money and i bet he loves you bunches....we don't get a redo on how we spend today...........huggs
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Permalink Reply by Cindy Proud Navy Mom of Rob on -
I think the same thing Lauren - what did I do at his age? UGH! Let's not go there!
He has had an accoutnt but, nothing to watch -he never left it in there long enough. So impulsive. Has agreat heart my lad but, not a lick of financial sense. Gentle pursasion then. Can't hurt -even if it really doesn't help!
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Permalink Reply by Michaels mom Karen on -
My son uses most of his check to make his car payment and full coverage insurance. I wish he had sold the car since hes in Iraq and its just sitting in storage.
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Permalink Reply by Hoppi aka Angie on -
If your sons car is in storage, call the insurance co and you can lower the insurance. I did that when my hubby went to the HOA. Saved money!
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Permalink Reply by carols_kitchen on -
Also, is he on USAA insurance? It's quite a saving!!!
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Permalink Reply by K on -
USAA is the absolute best hands down. I have seen how great they were growing up with my parents (our family house burned to the ground) and when it was my turn to get insurance I went straight with them. I have seen an occasional cheaper offer come by but USAA is SO good I wouldn't switch if there was a cheaper one. I swear by them.
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Permalink Reply by Maryanne-Michael's mom on
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Karen,
You can have your son's interest rate lowered because he is in the military. Not sure of his interest rate but any loans, credit cards etc have to be reduced per SCRA Act..look it up. Hope this helps
Maryanne
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on -
I was laughing a bit when I read this discussion ... I was a young sailor once too, and indeed, I spent like mad. Bought myself nice things, partied, ate out, took trips. Didn't save a lick of money the first few years, but I never went into debt either. Hang in there, most sailors figure it out after a while. They do mature! I only had one sailor working for me that needed counseling about money, never paid his credit card bills. He was also married to two women, so he wasn't very responsible about anything. Yes, he was dishonorably discharged.
Navy Federal is a good credit union, they're all over the world. We still have money going into it, and have used it for loans and credit cards. The online banking is phenomenal. We also have an account with Great Lakes Credit Union; not nearly as convenient.
Hubby had a hometown bank account with his mom's name on it. We found out his three sisters took the bank book and used most of the money to buy cars with his mom's permission. I can see why a sailor might hesitate to share; not saying that's the case for any of you, just I can see both sides.
I thought probate only counted if the estate was above a certain amount. This varies by state, doesn't it? And sailors need life insurance for sure; plus a will. Even if they own little, they need a will.
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Permalink Reply by Tresa Taylor on -
Cindy,
We had also set up an acct. for our son. But he wanted to join the Navy Credit union and go thru their bank. He set up money to go into CD and other areas. He is trying to save everything, leaving his self with very little. My son did have someone from the bank go over financial decisions with him. Hopefully he will make the right decisions. It is out of my hands now and it is very hard to lose control of them. I think they will make the right decisions or they will learfrom their mistakes. TTYL
Tresa
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Permalink Reply by MattsMomVero on -
Hi Cindy... My name is Veronica, and I am a proud Navy Mom to Matthew ( Matty ) He got to his home port in Norfolk, Va., a little over a year ago. Sorry to say he made some VERY bad financial decisions there because of being naive and thinking everyone is honest and trustworthy. He is now 20 years old. His father tried to warn him about people on military bases trying to sucker you out of your money. ( he didn't listen) His dad was in the Army in 1980-1984.
One day my son was walking around in Norfolk and a guy pulls up in his car and asks why is he walking and not driving.... long story short, the guy worked at a car dealership in Virginia Beach, Va. He " befriended my son, took him to eat, DRINK, even to his house to play video games. We tried to tell him that any upstanding car dealer DOES NOT do this, but he said " No Mom, he's not like that , he's a cool guy "
He got my son to buy a 2003 Chevy Impala. We just found out recently the car was $$$$ 12,000.
OMG !!! Well he signed the papers in Nov. of 2007. The bank has the note for the loan, he has a payment of $234.00 per month. He has had nothing but problems with this car from day one. The car had 22" tires with "spinner" rims, and one time while trying to drive home ( to PA. ), his car got a flat tire, Not an ordinary flat tire, mind you. he tried to get it fixed, but no one would touch the 22" tires ( too big for the car )
So enter his next $$$$ towards the car, he went and got a consumer loan for $$500 to get new tires the right size for the car. We just found out about THAT loan, too.
After that, another time he was gonna come home , the car had a MAJOR breakdown. He had it towed and they told him it would be about $$$ 2,000 to fix !!!! Blown head gaskets !!
Well it has been there for about 3-4 months. This was it for this car. He didn't even have it for only about 6 months. !!!!
He finally talked to his Chief about his car troubles, and he took my son to this other car place where they agreed to buy this car from him and give him $ 5,000 for it ( knowing the problems ) which he could apply to this first car loan and he could buy a car from them for only $ 5,000 ( a toyota ) Well this is not totally a done deal yet, but ,will be, it is a much better deal than paying for a car you can't even drive.
Part 2 of this story is , this car dealership, AUTOS & CYCLES VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. on 10/6/08 had 5 seperate transactions from his account total of $$$$ 450 !!!
He just married his high school sweetheart on August 31, 2008. She is living with us here in Pa., right now. But in October he recieved his first pay for being married, (I forget the military name for it) but he went and put a deposit for their first apartment ( on base ) and she's gonna go down there at the end of this month. The apartment is furnished, but they need to buy dishes, pans, stuff like that soThe other day ,she was going thru their bank statement online andfound these 5 transactions , so we called AUTOS & CYCLES and got the whole run around !!! They even put us on hold for like 10 minutes, before we got mysteriously disconnected !!
So we called Navy Federal and they were super sweet. They told us what to do and God willing the $450 should be back in their account within 4 business days.
Then we called AUTOS & CYCLES back and they say that it just must be something my son owes them for , maybe insurance, or the loan he got ( $$12,000 ), wasn't enough for the car ?!?!?but couldn't tell us WHAT, because of the privacy law, even though his WIFE was talking to them.But his loan is thru the BANK, not them, so why should ANY money go from his account to them ? And we told them that we told Navy Federal to NOT accept anything from this place , they told us "that if he owes for anything, there would be a 30% attorney fees."
Another thing is ever since he got that car, every month, some money went to AUTOS & CYCLES like $ 50 here and there,but he really didn't do nothing , till now.
They started out on the 1st of the month with almost $1,500, and now the 14th they have $ 6.
He did pay his loans and deposit for apartment, thank God, before they wiped him out completely.
I just think it is disgraceful what this place has done to him, and I'm sure he isn't the first or the last Navy guy they have suckered into buying a piece of crap car that looks good at first.
Oh yeah, another thing , the " salesman " who sold him this car no longer works there, either.
Go figure ?!?!
Never give your bank account information to anyone, EVER
Sorry this is so long but I hope this helps someone else to learn a lesson my son had to learn the hard way.
Now I'm gonna contact the Better Business Bureau about this AUTOS & CYCLES of Virginia Beach, Va.
This place should really be shut down.
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Permalink Reply by Hoppi aka Angie on
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WOW, I am soo sorry to hear about your sons issues with that place. Recommend your son a)keep talking to the Chief and b) find where NLSO is on base so he can get free legal advise. He may also want to go to his bank and get a POA for his wife to talk to them regarding the money issues. With the banks POA she can work with on his behalf. He may also want to get a general POA for his wife.
With regards to him paying bills. He may want to go on mypay web site and set up an allotment going into his wifes checking account until this mess gets fixed with that car place. As than he will know he has money to pay the bills.
If he needs money he can go to NMCR and talk to them about getting either a loan (0% intrest) or a grant, to help him move into a place.
If he needs dishs or anything for his new place, have him let the people at his command know! He needs to let his WCS, LPO, LCPO, section leader, everyone he talk to know!!!
I have given fellow Sailors everything from food, cloths, furniture, dishes, a place to stay, even my car to use. Just a few weeks ago one of my Sailors bank account ended up with a crazy charge which he did not make. He wouldn't have had money to feed his family. I left work early that day and went over to his house, took his wife out for a late lunch and took her grocery shopping afterwards. She was in tears and swore up and down she would have her husband pay me back when the bank gave them the money. Told them they can pay me back by 1) having me and my hubby over for dinner and 2) to take care of the Jr Sailors when they where in the postion I am in.
Sailors take care of Sailors. We just need to know they need help.
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