My son leaves for boot camp in January

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michele H. (AARON'S Mom) on November 21, 2008 at 6:46pm

Hello Wendy;

Please, whatever you do, don't be fooled by a recruiter who tells your son to falsify his application in any way. My son is currently at Great Lakes Training Command and because we trusted his recruiter, my son put down that he did not have ADHD even though he was diagnosed with it when he was small. We told the recruiter this and he said the military will never know. That if he put "yes", he would be disqualitied. He also told my son to say he never had surgery even though we told the recruiter he had his tonsils removed when he was five years old. At boot camp, they have what is called the "Moment of Truth". They tell them this is the U.S. Military in a time of war and there are no secrets. My son told them about his ADHD and now at best, he could be dishonorably discharged or at worst, two years in prison. My son is terrified and so am I.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by bonnie on November 23, 2008 at 12:17pm

It is not so bad to be ADHD. It's not like a disease. It depends upon him and how he has been able to modify his behavior. Ask yourself what has been his early training in school/life? If he has never learned to manage his impulsivity, it will show up during basic training..he won't be able to stand be yelled at or screamed at..(That is just what they do--nothing personal) ..If he can control himself , he'll be fine.
Adults with ADHD are often leaders of the 'ship'..They are most often the CEO's of companies, the directors and not ever the 'workers' .they are very intelligent and quick...and impulsive...it's the impulsivity that will get him into trouble. Remind him to use his behavioral strategies he has learned over his lifetime.
Best wishes.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jamie (Coty's Mom) on November 21, 2008 at 7:03pm

Hi Wendy...my son is about half way thru BC now. What I would suggest is
1) Show him now how to use a calling card. My son hasnt called yet. Not because he hasnt had time, but because he cant figure out how to use the calling card.
2) If he does not call the first day dont worry. They dont all get time too.
3) Be sure he knows all the phone numbers to reach you at. Most days everyone is used to just hitting a number for speed dial and they never know the number by heart.
4) Try to start looking into places to stay now, travel discounts that are refundable, talk with him now about who he wants at the graduation and where the grad packet is going to be sent
5) Remind him he needs to order the pictures and video if you want them.

above all relax, breath, visit this site often, its ok to cry and dont be afraid to ask questions

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Proud Navy Mom Sue on November 21, 2008 at 8:50pm

Take lots of pictures now. If he gives you a certain look when he's upset take one of those. Also spend lots of time with them, doing all their favorites, cooking all their favorite foods. If he has a cell phone and so do you have him call and leave a voice mail-then you can listen whenever you are missing him. I didn't do the message thing but I do call his cell phone just to hear his voice. My son always gives me this Oh Mom you are so blond look and I got a picture of this because it will make me smile. Let him spend time with friends and girlfriend if there is one because this makes them happy. Scott spent lots of time with friends. We had him a going away party and then all his friends spent the night, woke up to a living room full of wall to wall kids but it was okay. Give him lots of hugs now because you will miss that a lot. This whole thing will be a great experience in a few years but right now hard on you and him, just show him lots of support. Good luck to you and your son.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jennifer (Justin's Mom) on November 21, 2008 at 11:31pm

Hi Wendy my sone is also leaving in January. Come join the Depper's...in but not yet group. It is full of information for moms with kids in the DEP program. It is a great place to get support and understanding from moms in the same situation as you. What day is your son leaving?

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mary (Chris' mom) on November 21, 2008 at 11:47pm

Hi Moms! My son is at GL right now. He quit work 6 weeks before leaving and his time filled quickly. When he was home (seldom) I made all his favorite foods for dinner. He and I took 3 days and went to Kitty Hawk for an afternoon of hang gliding (something we both wanted to try) and then drove up one day to Dam Neck where he will be going for A-school and checked out the annex and the Virginia Beach area. Back at home, the only thing he asked to do was to go fishing one more time. He had a couple of small get-togethers with HS friends and one with friends of the family. The last weekend he was home we did our Thanksgiving on Saturday and his dad's family did their's on Sunday.
Make sure he has memorized the Creed, his General Orders, and by all means go by the list of "what to bring" and "what not to bring". They made Chris send back his deoderant because it was regular scent I suppose rather than unscented and for some reason sent back his tube of Crest toothpaste. He left last Thursday, I got his clothes on Tuesday and today I got a letter from DoN with preliminary info and a two line note from him. This is the letter that tells his DIV #, "ship" name (barracks name) and specifics for writing to him/her. As you talk to other moms you will realize that you can "figure his/her grad date all you want but they can for various reasons be held back a week or more so wait for the official packet to be sent. Also, the first several days are processing days and do not count toward training time.
I thought saying good-by would be the hardest part but let me tell you, that 20 second phone call you get when they first arrive is VERY difficult. He said "They say I gotta go." I said, "Ok, I love"...click. I cried half the night cause I couldn't even finish my sentence. Boot camp is not easy wondering if they are really alright. Pray for them and know that they are strong enough to see it through. The best way to prepare for it all is to hold them, every chance you get from now until them. Let them know that you are proud of them and that they will be missed but that no matter what,...they are loved. You will always be their special family but once they arrive everything is geared toward making their shipmates their family, someday when they are out on the ocean that will be the only family they can turn to for immediate help. It has to be that way. Good luck to everyone and a prayer for each of you and your loved ones.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cindy on November 22, 2008 at 8:28am

I know this sounds a little silly but it's something I wish someone had told us before my son left. Have him "actually" use a phone card BEFORE he leaves. My son had a cell phone or used the home phone so he had no clue how to use a phone card. It may be pretty self explanitory but when they literally have 2 min. max to call and they are tired and nervous and are wondering what they just got themselves into 2 minutes is not much time to figure things out. My son tried to call but by the time he got the card figured out my phone rang twice and he wasn't there, his 2 minutes were up. Talk about feeling sick, I cried myself to sleep that night not knowing how many weeks it would be before I got to talk to him again.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Pat from Texas on November 22, 2008 at 9:35am

When my son left for bootcamp (PIR 11-14-08), I sent his cell phone with him. He can't keep it once there, but it was great being able to talk to him between MEPS and Great Lakes. I was a little afraid they might say something to him, but they didn't. When packing his box, they put his battery in one shoe and the phone in the other and returned it to me. There will be a group started for your PIR date, if not start one. It will be a lot of help and support. Just remember every division is different, so their priviledges are different. Some groups were able to make several calls, and some didn't. I read all entries but kept a close eye on the moms from my son's division. Just keep your cell phone with you. My husband told everyone I would leave my kidneys at home before I would have left my cell phone, and he was right. My son went to MEPS with 1 change of clothes because he was there overnight. We brought those home and all he had to return were the clothes on his back. Also, send stamps and don't forget the phone card.

I got my graduation info a little bit earlier. Again it depends on the division. We stayed at the Navy Lodge. It was close by and was nice - but not fancy. It may not have a pool but it does have a kitchette. (We would use it again.) There are no restaurants or fast food places close by though so I recommend renting a car if you can. The night before, drive around to kind of find your way. We parked at the train station the morning of and walked in. (they have paid parking there but it's not much) This doesn't circumvent anything, it just saved us from sitting in the car getting more nervous and anxious. You still have to go thru the screening and all but that doesn't take long. We got there early, and were glad we did simply because we got great seats. We sat about 5 or 6 rows up and it was perfect. (To close to the floor and sometimes there are people blocking your view.) You will be surrounded by families from your divison to talk to and we also had several other N4M's sitting around us and we had were able to talk to them.

I found that I sent the Navy a kid that I loved because I was his mother and the Navy returned a young man who was polite and a pure joy to be around. He is pretty shy, and I was amazed at the transformation. Threre is nothing like seeing your child walk by for the first time in their uniform.

If you have questions, just yell. As hard as this as for all of us, it was a great decision for my son. That helped me get through bootcamp. They say A school is better because there is more communication. That will be really nice.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Trisha Carlberg on November 22, 2008 at 10:04am

You can make sure he has money. The one thing I learned from going through this myself was that you needed money in your bank account.They don't tell you that the Military doesn't provide you with everything you need. They provide uniforms, boots, You have to supply the socks t shirts, underwear, And beleive me, that stuff can add up quick. Before you know it your recruit can rack up $100 or more on those types of items. When they get to training they dump their bags and they only get to keep the stuff that is military in nature meaning white underwear, white T shirts ect. if your son is a boxer brief boy he best learn to like wearing good ole fashion underwear, they took us over to the base exchange and made us buy items that we didn't have. If they don't have money they usually put in a an account and they deduct it from their first pay check. Nothing like getting out of boot camp and having no money.
Your recruiter has a list of items they will need to have make sure you get it from him/her. Don't let them tell you other wise!
Make sure he has a phone card that has at least 2 hours of talk time on it or more, those phone cards sometimes don't work or they take extra minutes off if the call didn't go through.
Talk to your employeer if you are employed, let them know that your son joined the Navy and when he graduates you would like to take some time off. Since you won't have an exact date usually 6 weeks from the date he went in, Most employers won't give people a hard time, just remember you are not in the Military and your employeer is not requried to let you take time off due to Military excercises.
My son leaves Jan 5th for boot camp as well. He will be leaving from Des Moines IA. Where is your son leaving from?
Stay in touch!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathy on November 22, 2008 at 12:44pm

Not much to do for graduation, unless you're going to stay overnight. Find a hotel because they book up fast. My son graduated in April, was shipped out that afternoon so we only had a few hours with him.
Good luck to him and your family. This time is the hardest for you all.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Colleen on November 22, 2008 at 2:12pm

My son just started boot camp on Tuesday November 18th. We haven't even gotten his address, let alone a graduation date. When can we expect that and do we call the recruiting officer for that? Also - we're thinking of taking the train from Rochester, NY to Great Lakes to avoid driving in January weather; does anyone know if the station located anywhere near the base? Or are there any motels nearby? We are trying to make plans but without a date, it's hard to do much at this point. Thanks for any help!
Colleen

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ken's Mom on November 22, 2008 at 4:06pm

You can call your sons recruiter and have them get the address a week after he is there. Thats what we did
Graduation Dates will be listed on the Great Lakes Navy Recruit website about three weeks before hand and they send you a packet with info.

▶ Reply to This

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5