New Military Fiancé Wanting Wife Insight

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Permalink Reply by Lisa, Nuke Wife on August 28, 2009 at 3:19pm

Being a military wife is really hard. And it sucks sometimes, a lot. You have to learn to never get your hopes up and to take what you can get. Be thankful for the phone calls and be thankful for the weekends here and there. Mine is deployed now and its been really hard to have my own separate life without him here. The most important thing you can do is to just be an independent person. I've made a lot of good friends here, other navy wives who know exactly how this goes. You can finish your education, get a job, volunteer, spend time with friends. Staying busy is important. But its important to connect with him too. You can write him emails, send him packages, wait for the phone calls. Make scrap books, look at old pictures, just remind yourself of him and how much you care about him. And I tell this to everyone, but sometimes you just have to put your big girl panties on and get over it. You wake up everyday and choose to feel a certain way and choose to act a certain way. Life is all about choices. So don't choose to be sad and don't choose to make it hard!! I love my husband and miss him more than anything, but sitting around and being sad about it, throwing yourself a pity party isn't going to benefit anything. The best thing you can do is to choose to take this one day at a time and make every day a little better than the day before. Work on yourself and your own attitude. It makes being apart so much less exhausting and painful.

I know my husband would give anything in the world to be home with me. Hes not choosing to be away from me, he has to be away from me because hes under a contract. I'm okay with that. You can't blame them for being so far away. So its just counting down the days till he's home.

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Permalink Reply by TXairborne82 on August 28, 2009 at 8:24pm

I would never blame Brandon for us being apart. I knew exactly who he was and what he was doing when we met and then became a couple. I respect his aspirations in the Army and it often makes me wish I was doing more with my life :] lol

I write him almost everyday, even if I don't send them that week. Sometimes I'll put them all together and send them at one time once the week is up. I've also sent him care packages of civis and things that, had we been together, we would have gone shopping for. I'm learning slowly about how to never hope for the best. I've gotten short changed a lot these past couple of months. We found out last week that no one will be getting block leave for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. Discouraging but honestly not unbearable. It just requires me to get up at 5:30 in the morning to drop him off at PT :[ :[ lol

I do want to finish college and get a degree which is why we haven't flitted off somewhere and gotten married in a hurry because I want to know that I can take care of myself and pay for everything, fix the car, etc when he has to be gone.

I also agree about the "thankful weekends" because when I saw him in August it was only for 4 days. I spent nearly 700 dollars on a weekend with him. And I wouldn't have traded that weekend for anything.
I needed to start work this semester with my kids (I work for the YMCA) and also to make it through 18 hours at college.

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Permalink Reply by BRENDA '08 on August 30, 2009 at 9:29pm

Lisa,
I could not have said what you said any better. It is hard being a wife of any military. My husband retired with 21 years in the army. And now he is back with the army as a dod employee, so we are so to speak back in the army again. But it is what you make of it. My son is now in the navy and his girlfriend wanted to know what I did when my husband was gone. I told her I work and keep myself busy and time goes by kinda fast. Now we have email and cell phones. When he went on his first deployment and my son was 2 he was gone for 14 months to Korea and we couldn't call much because it was too expensive and we had to wait for letters in the mail. Now we hurry to check emails. You will do fine, just keep busy and be there for him when he comes home.

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dad on August 30, 2009 at 9:48pm

Visit the Family information in the right column of http://www.lifelines.usmc.mil/lifelines/index.htm

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