please help!!

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Permalink Reply by Brenda Sue on June 15, 2009 at 5:09pm

Where is he? On a ship?

Permalink Reply by Jessesmom on June 16, 2009 at 8:27am

not on ship now. he is on base, at the hospital barracks.

Permalink Reply by Tamie (mom of Michael) on June 15, 2009 at 5:32pm

the chaplain would be a start, sorry to hear he is having trouble, is he on a ship or on land? how long has he been in the Navy? Tamie

Permalink Reply by Jessesmom on June 16, 2009 at 8:27am

yes. that was my first response to him. he does

Permalink Reply by Rob on June 15, 2009 at 6:14pm

I'm sorry your son is suffering this. The positive advice I have for you is this doesn't need to be discreet. In the past yes, but not now. The Navy and military overall have come to understand the importance of mental health. Where in the past, if you were to seek help it was a black mark against your future career. But today seeking help is encouraged from the top down.

If he just needs someone to talk to then the Chaplain can definitely be a start. However if he or you thinks he really needs help then you should be able to find it through the local military medical facility.
Just like a broken bone or a sickness, the Navy wants to treat mental health as well. They understand it is better for the sailor, the ship and the Navy overall.

Good Luck,
Rob

Permalink Reply by Jessesmom on June 16, 2009 at 8:29am

yes, this black mark is indeed why he dosent want anyone to know, he would probly kill me if he knew i was on here about this. but I also need someone to talk to. It is the worst feeling in the world hearing your child dosnet want to live anymore. I cant talk now. more later

Permalink Reply by navywoman16 on June 16, 2009 at 2:01am

Jessesmom, I have 2 sons. 1 Navy, 1 Army. My son toured Iraq and came home with severe PTSD. While home on R&R he did some very strange behavior for him. I'm prior Navy and my oldest is Navy. We couldn't believe what we were looking at. He wouldn't open up, even with 3 generations of military in my home he wouldn't speak to any of us about what was bothering him. I called Leavenworth. Mainly I knew it's a military prison. If anyone knew regulations it was them. I know Navy but not Army. They told me to get him to the local VA Hospital immediately. They confined him for 3 days came to me and told me he had Battlefield Mind ( crud I didn't realize we all have that from basic training it is our training.) He had PTSD and unfortunately he also had TBI not severe but noticeable. They started treatment he was sent back to Iraq to be sent back home to keep treatment going. I hope this helps it it don't call his Chain of Command. As a prior Master Chief if I recieved calls from parents I would watch the sailor. If what I was told is what I observed I'd help the sailor out and do what was best for him or her. My First Class is headed for Iraq on IA in July. He's like me he wants all the P's and Q's done and squared away but he'll do anything it takes to help anyone in his section. You always want to start with his very next superior, but don't let them give you a run around. If they don't seem to help go 1 more step up the Chain until you get what you need. IF ALL FAILS E-MAIL ME I'LL GIVE YOU BOB GATES OFFICE AND WHO TO SPEAK TO. BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU HIS OFFICE AND THE JOINTS WILL FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.

If I can be further assistance let me know. We must all stand together. Remember we are all in this.

Permalink Reply by Jessesmom on June 16, 2009 at 8:25am

oh my thank you so much.. He is afraid being looked at as weak and is embarrassed but struggles everyday..
thank you so much for the info. I will take it to condierration.

Permalink Reply by Jessesmom on June 16, 2009 at 8:30am

I want to thank all you wonderful ladies out there who offered me advice.

Its nice to know we're not alone in this world with our problems.

God bless you all!

Permalink Reply by JoAn on June 16, 2009 at 9:14am

I am so sorry to hear about your son. He and you are in my prayers. You could maybe have him go to the chaplin. Or maybe his recruiter can get you started in the right direction. But in the mean time have him start with the chaplin. Anything he talks to the chaplin about is held in confidence. At least it is a place to start and someone he can talk to.
I wish you and your son the very best. You can PM me if you need someone to talk to.
Tak Care & God Bless
JoAn

Permalink Reply by Military Mom on June 16, 2009 at 9:34am

I know you worry about messing up Jesse's career but right now it is his life that is most important. Thoughts of suicide is a serious problem that has to be addressed. He must get help now! Talking to you and telling you that he is having these thoughts is a very good sign. It's the ones that don't mention it that are more likely to follow through. He wants help, now it's up to you and him to get it. If he won't get help on his own please do what navywoman16 said.
My prayers are with you both. Please let us know how things go.
((((hugs))))

Permalink Reply by Melody DIV 930 mom on June 16, 2009 at 10:19am

Jessemom, Please know your son is on our prayers, That is the first step!! Next definitely have him go to Chaplain. And follow what Navywoman16 says. None of us know what truely goes through the minds of our young men and women. Doesn't matter whether you have been in a year a month or years, life is truly different. I may not be a sailor but I am an RN and have worked with some of our military men and woman. They are going and will continue to go through a lot and stoeing away anger, frustration, loneliness, greif, seperation etc is not a good thing. Unfortunatley being in the military that is what most feel they must do to keep from looking weak just as you said. But, life is much more important than that and he must get help!! Talking is the first step and he is doing that. Just keep being there, LISTENING is the most important step to helping him so you are able to hear the warning signs. Being open and honest is the next step! don't pla yinto anything and don't try to hide anything and if you see or hear anykind of suicidal thoughts or ideations you must must find help!! Maybe you can find out who the chaplian is and speak to him or her yourself. Once again remeber they are there to help. I hope your son finds the help and peace he deserves and I willmake sure he is on our prayer list. If you ever need anyone to talk to please I am here for you. God's peace be with you dear.

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