There is a time
When I first learned that my son was going to join the Navy, I was happy and excited for him. This was his big stretch out, spreading the wings and soaring. At least try to soar. I did none of the research, I made none of the decisions. I let him lead the way, completely. He called and we talked a few times when he wasn't sure of the next step in the path. I offered options and suggestions and left it at that. He made all of the decisions, he OWNED them. I supported him.
There is a time in our children's lives that we need to step back and let them take the lead. It doesn't matter what the outcome is pass or fail. What matters is the learning from the victories and the losses. If we hold their hands every step of the way, even into adulthood, they will never learn to fly let alone soar. Standing back and watching your Son or Daughter navigate on their own is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do as a Parent. It's also one of the most necessary things you will do.
Take heart Moms and Dads, your Son is a man now, your Daughter a woman. Let them grow in that, just as we did and the many before us.
My Son, who grew into a Man will become a Sailor on June 1st. I am so proud of him, and I know he will be very proud to wear that uniform. He did it all on his own, from running with the desire, to making his way through bootcamp.
Proud indeed!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Concernedad on -
Proud Mom,
you will be able to see and hug your son and spend about an hour with him. We went to the NEX and picked up his pictures and did a bit of shopping. Then he packs up all his stuff and moves down the street. The time it takes depends on many factors, but figure about 4 hours.
If you'd like, you can drive over to his new base and wait. There is a museum there you can wander through, but not much else.
Once he is able to leave, it still takes quite some time to check out of his ship. Then he will walk out to the gate, where, if he's not checked out with buddies (at least two I believe), you will need to go get a pass to drive back to his ship (he'll have to be with you) to check him out. I would suggest when getting a pass, get one for the whole weekend, so you don't have to wait in line on Saturday. At the end of his liberty, you'll need to go check him back in. He will have the entire weekend (if they haven't gotten in trouble for something) and you'll have to repeat the process of checking him in and out.
Prepare for a lot of waiting around. He'll be used to it, you won't.
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Permalink Reply by ebigirl on -
Concernedad; Waiting around?...as in "hurry up and wait"??? Not the Navy, or any branch of the Military!! LOL
I'm just kidding. Couldn't help but make a comment on your "play on words". Your comment as always is right on. :-)
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Permalink Reply by djp on -
Very well said!!! We have watched our daughter leave, fall and have helped her back up mentally and now soaring again to acheive her goals. Our son has not yet left for boot camp but has made all of his contacts and decisions for his new life adventures. We are so proud of both. Every parent needs to cut the apron string. I know it is hard but step back and watch, they will and will do amazing things in life.
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Permalink Reply by terriopt on -
What a beautiful post! Thank you!
I am trying to do the same with my Depper son. I truly believe this is a wonderful decision for him... I will miss him dearly and wish I had him close for a few more years but I did raise him to have wings... and hopefully he will. Thanks again for the wonderful message!
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Permalink Reply by Raberta on -
Absolutely! My Sailor is really making his way in this world overseas. I'm so proud of my son-who plans to be career Navy.
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Permalink Reply by Jacky (sub mom) on -
Congrats to you and your son!!! You should be VERY proud!!!
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Permalink Reply by my3boys on -
I appreciate your words here. We are entering this new phase of our life on December 5th
We are SO proud of him and so excited for all that will come in this next phase of his life, yet it is a process of letting go.
Exited to be a part of what appears to be a great support of famlies on this forum
Blessings to all
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Permalink Reply by GrannyRachelFMTB on -
Thank you for the eloquent statement. My son is in A-school now. While I miss him, I will not whine about his absence. His service and dedication mean a great deal. We raise our children to be independent adults. That means not wailing when they leave, at least not in front of the new sailor. Do not make your adult offspring feel guilty about leaving, support them instead. I chose to leave a N4M Facebook group as it became an Agony Aunt forum with nothing more than 'Poor me! My sailor got deployed! Whatever will I do?' complaints. I say support them. Smile and wave and if you must cry, cry at home. Be proud of your sailor. I know I am.
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