Navy For Moms

Hi Ladies, I am reposting this blog from my page in hopes that more new DEPper/Boot Camp moms and Moms with upcoming PIR's who are thinking about "A" school will see it...

I was updating my profile today and realized I had learned so much through the Boot Camp experience and as “A” school progressed- much of it from other Moms here- that I had tripled my original list! I often find myself repeating advise to newbies and wished to put it somewhere for them to find, for whatever it’s worth. However, it was really way too long to add in the profile space provided, so I decided to make it a blog instead. Please feel free to add any tips of your own, words of wisdom, funny stories, discoveries etc. We can all learn from, cry and laugh with each other …

1) That as hard as it is and as much as your mind is whirling, there is one important conversation to have before they go…discuss what their wishes are if an immediate or extended family member, friend or even their dog was to become ill, or be injured or die while they are at Boot Camp. You can only call the Red Cross if an immediate family member/legal guardian has died. You need to know if they want you to interrupt their training and try to get them home! For other circumstances, would they prefer that you write and tell them, wait until they call home after Battle Stations and their training is complete or not tell them after their PIR? I wish I’d thought to do this and am thankful I didn’t have to decide during a stressful time. I know many Moms have. :( My condolences to you! I wish the rest of you peace of mind and smooth sailing!

2) Don't breathe deep when you open "the Kid in a Box"!! Most moms look for a note, only once in a rare while, does a Recruit manage to sneak one in. =) Wash their stuff and clean out their room whenever you are ready, (it can be very therapeutic), just remember that mountains of dirty clothing, soiled socks and stinky shoes do not get fresher with time! :-P

3) That the first 2-3 weeks while they are in processing and out of communication is pure AGONY....your tears and grief are perfectly normal; on the other hand that first call, or letter handwritten by your precious "child" is pure JOY. Oh, and you are not at all weird if you carry those letters around in your purse for quite a while, even after BC is over. :)

4) You can call your recruiter within 72 hours. They should have the recruit’s address. (It may not always be correct though which could delay the delivery of your letter.) You don't have to wait for the form letter, though that is always the official, for sure address. They will be provided with official Navy Stationary, envelopes and stamps. They can write on Sundays primarily. As of summer '09, they are also allowed to write a little on Tuesdays and Thursdays. (note: They may receive extra phone calls IF the Div is working well together and earns the privilege.) Writing them once a day isn’t too much. They may have to do pushups for receiving more than 4 a day, but my son said and I quote “Mom, it was WORTH it, keep ‘em coming!!” ☺ He actually liked the extra PT, said it kept him in top shape. That kid is warped! He was also in great shape before he left; running, working out and eating healthy really paid off for him in Boot Camp. When other kids were failing their PT tests and being felled by the "Ricky Crud"-yucky BC sicknesses- he sailed though. Pun intended :)

5) That mail call time at BC is like the Ice Cream truck pulling up in a city park on a 95 degree day! :D (Thanks to Chris A, for that one!)-see correction below.

6) When mailing letters, don't put cute stickers, drawings or anything on the outside of the envelopes...this may bring unwanted attention and could result in extra 8 counts (push ups, sit ups etc.)! No musical cards either!! Some RDC’s (Recruit Division Commanders) hate them! Best to check first before you send those. Our boys had to dance if they received one, others march or do PT-again, the 8 counts- until the batteries wear out. This does not endear one to one’s shipmates! No packages allowed in BC either, wait until “A” school.

7) Every letter from them, short or long is a treasure and you will miss it when they are done. All too soon they will have their cell phones and laptops at “A” school. Apparently, some even forget their phone numbers after 8 weeks of BC… “ET phone HOME!!” SAD when a Mom has to check Facebook or My Space or call the powers that be at GL to see how her new Sailor is doing! Mine calls, but I had to learn how to text too. :)

8) That a "KEEL" is a Boot Camp yearbook, and depending on how interested you are in Naval History, old photos of other DIVs and extra candid shots of your recruits/sailors DIV, you may want it. It can be really hard to get after the fact. Their official Navy photos are taken around Week 4, they can order those and the official PIR (graduation) Video/DVD too. The DVD is also hard to get later, and worth the $ and wait. They can hand you the photos at PIR or have them mailed home as well. Write and tell your recruit to order them (I recommend Pkg. A) and keep reminding them until it's done! The $ is automatically deducted from their paychecks. Hey, what else do they have to spend it on except (their uniforms) a calling card and toiletries? =) One son refused to let his Mom pay him back. (How proud are you Tina?!) He told her "Mom, I owe you at least that much!" Awww, what a good boy! My son and I figured we were about even after all the money I spent to mail his stuff to him at "A" school. Speaking of, this reminds me...


9) That it is foolish and VERY costly to try to overnight an “A” school package, at least to Great Lakes. Cell phones, IPODs, even laptops may sit in the Mail Room for a week or more before they have the time to pick them up. Be sure to tell them to "Lock it or Lose it"! Theft can occur even in a military environment. :( Also, I cannot figure out for the life of me why after working so hard to earn the right to wear the uniform of a US Navy Sailor, they are in such an impatient hurry to get their “Civie” clothing!! They can't wear them until they earn Phase 2 privileges anyways. =)

10) That I am really “Acronym stupid” (My humble thanks to the Mom that started that thread!!) See for yourself: http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/1971797:Topic:81266 You'll be an expert in Navy aslang in no time! There are just way too many Rates, Titles, Schools etc. to learn with out a discussion like this and links to websites to keep it all at my fingertips. Take heart though Moms, my son said he didn’t have a clue until almost halfway through what this PIR (Pass in Review i.e. Graduation) was that I kept referring to! After graduation, he saw a “T” shirt with the word SNIPES on it the day after I’d asked him about them, (thanks Molly!) he had never heard it before then. He also was extremely amused when I casually-and correctly- dropped the word “SCUTTLEBUTT" into a conversation. See, ole’ Mom CAN learn new tricks and impress the heck out of her Navy boy! Quick, test your knowledge, what is a TWIDGETT? Don't post it here if you know. Let others have fun finding out too. :) Update: As of May 2009, we now have an added feature at our disposal...NAVY SPEAK! Our heartfelt gratitude to our Admin. Elle and her team for this great new tool.


11) That all their newfound liberty after BC can go to their heads, as can having a steady paycheck! The mall and dinners out are a big temptation and drain on the finances. :) So glad I taught my son about money management! Warn them again especially about underage drinking, and drugs. Good 'kids' can make bad choices, even in the Navy.

12) That the main slogan of the military is “Hurry up and Wait!!” this does not mesh well with Moms who are planners and/or control freaks! Things can and often do change too. Ma Navy is in control of your calendar now. Do try to purchase refundable or exchangeable plane tickets to PIR if you can. Always check your expectations and stay flexible! "Needs of the Navy" dictates what happens from this point-and when.

13) That once your child has joined the Military, even someone who is not usually a “crier” will get a lump in her throat and a tear-or many- in her eye every time she hears our National Anthem, Anchors Away or any number of other “triggers”. The biggest one is seeing your amazing new-and improved-young person, your Sailor, enter the Grand Hall on PIR morning! It truly makes it worth all the worry, waiting, sacrifice and tears. Also, the sound of "LIBERTY CAAALLL" is a beautiful thing! :D

14) That the Navy (and probably all Military) is really a small world after all. As Moms, we are also a team, and we are all in this together. You will need the support of many of the Moms you've come to know during BC long after it is over! I would encourage Moms not to fade away just because you can talk to your Sailor during "A" school and beyond. Stay connected to your Div and PIR mates and other N4M friends, I promise, there are times down the road you will still need them.

15)) Like all things, "this too, shall pass", Boot Camp will be over before you know it. :) You will be cheering and crying as you watch the amazing PIR ceremony. If you are fortunate, and they are not "Grad and Go" (i.e. headed for the airport to "A" school Friday soon after BC Graduation-parents CAN go too) you will get to spend time with them during the days on the Liberty weekend after. Then it’s on to “A” school, "C" school or other further specialized training and assignments/ deployments. Their journey-and ours- has just begun…

Here's a couple of extra add ons from other Moms too; feel free to add yours :-)

#8 Addendum: Depending on the time of year your son is in Basic Training, the portrait packages can serve as gifts. When my son handed me his photos, he said, "Happy Mother's Day, Moma"....the faucet started running again (for the bazillinth time). He would not hear about us paying him back either. -Sheila C.

#3 Addendum: That telephone calls during BC can be non-existent, but NEVER stop believing in your recruit. Not all recruits get to call when everyone else does, and Moms need to work hard at writing letters and praying for their recruits, even if they don't know what's going on. That's our job... This is good for the recruit, but also therapy for the Mom. Sheila C.

#16 That most people (friends and family) find it hard to grasp much of what you are experiencing, and therefore, don't understand. The ancient Indian proverb that goes something like, "...until you've walked a mile in his moccasins" is true. They CAN'T understand, because it's different from anything they have ever experienced. So don't expect them to. When the fiftieth person says, "He'll be O.k., you need to "let go" and you just want to smack them, get a grip, and grin. They mean well, they just don't have a clue. N4M's knows what you are going through...they've bought the T-Shirt. Trust us. -Sheila C. (Yep, folks around here really "get it"! Oh, and it IS waay different from sending them off to college too. Don't let anyone make you feel silly for feeling as you are.)

I love it...I could have used this list when I first started here. I would also like to add that some recruiters are not as helpful others. So, if you have a recruiter that does not seem to be able to get your recruit's address for you there are other options. You may also get someone at the Public Affairs Office 847-688-2405 to give you ship and division number. Once you have the div. number and ship you can go to the RTC homepage http://www1.netc.navy.mil/nstc/rtcgl/index.html
there you would click on recruit families and contact your recruit and it will show you how to address the envelope. You just need to know your son's div. and ship number first. -Marie (Steven's Mom)

Here's another one I just thought of...#18 Do not post your recruits last name!! That is an OPSEC violation. :( I would recommend that you don't use your last name, even if it's different from your Recruits, or at least don't post your private home/cell phone, e-mail or address! Make a friend request first, (we can all use more friends!) then use your private e-mail (PM) option here on N4M to exchange that info. Helpful to do before you head off for GL and PIR. Then you can connect there easier or send out an SOS call when you are A) lost in Chicago trying to find GL or B) your rental car breaks down on your way to the Thursday night Moms Meet and Greet! True stories, these things happened to N4M Moms!

Seriously ladies, not to sound paranoid, but we do need to remember that our servicemen and women have enlisted during a time of multiple front wars in a high tech world! This is a public site, accessible by anyone out there, N4M, US citizen, or not. Identity theft is a big problem amongst the general population and we must also protect all our Sailors, especially those who will be in secret, high security/spec opps missions in the future!- AngieF

Great information I just wanted to say I wrote my son everyday and sent him a joke I printed off the internet in with the letters.. He told me after PIR , every night the other guys would ask for the joke his mom sent that day so it would be passed around for all to read and lighten up their day... :D - Shirley

Tags: boot, camp, information, keel, letters, moms, new, photos, pir, recruiters

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Very nice rundown on the basics =)

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Wow alot of information....Thanks..

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Thanks for the acknowledgement of the "Ice cream truck" story...but it was actually my son who said it while he was in boot camp "Mom, mail call is like the ice cream truck at the playgound on a very hot day".........I though that was so visual, all those kids crowding around, hoping that they got a letter, I just had to pass it on. If I ever considered missing a day of writing to him, that mental picture soon changed my mind.

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THANK YOU!! I have learned a lot of this from just participating on this site, but it is really nice to see it in writing!! I am in the count down mode, 23 days and counting ... but I wouldn't have made it (sanely) without all the wonderful and helpful folks on this site!

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Thank you so much for all this info. My son just left day 3 and counting. I amvery new to this but I love this site and have learned valueable info already. thanks. Michelle

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Hang in there. it is so hard in the beginning; when every car going by sounds like His and every time the door shuts you think its Him, then you remember and sigh, or cry. It gets better. My son Chris is week 4 today at BC, and just called. at this point I just wanted to hear his voice, and it feels like Christmas. From Juliet

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Angie,
You are so articulate! Your points are all very well said and TRUE!
I would like to add to your list specifically about PIR,
Take binoculars! When they are all wearing the same clothes, haircuts the same, glasses are even the same and there are 900 of them...having binoculars allows you to zero in on your beloved!
Take the shuttle/cab to PIR so you don't have to wait in the "search every nook and cranny in your vehicle" line. It is worth the 5-10 dollars you pay and they don't even need a map to get you there and back!
And recognize that PIR is truly a wonderful day of celebration but with it comes another parting. Stay and celebrate the liberty weekend, but prepare your tender heart for the next phase in our military journey knowing that your new friends on N4M will be there when you get home!

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Great additions Robin, thanks! To you too Chris A. for correcting my memory of your story, There was a funny picture in our Keel (one new Sailor holding all the mail up high and the others mobbing him ) that showed how true your son's words were! :-)

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In regards to the Keel and photos, will there be information in our sons grad packet on these? All this information is awesome, thank you!

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I spoke with a friend who told me a story that made me laugh and worry at the same time so this is good one for alot of recruits to think about before going to bc and during.

Seems this recruit never really had a serious girlfriend, so when he had Liberty (Army not Navy) a group of them went to the local strip club. Where 2 of the group met girls that were crazy about them, somehow within a week these 2 "girls" convinced these young recruits they were in love, and both girls talked them into a double wedding before the recruits ship out.

The very inteligent commander (not sure what they are called in army? chief?) sat the boys down and explained that the young ladies (term used very losely) often try to catch military men and get them to marry just before shipping out, this gives them a free paycheck and benifits. Usualy these marriages end in divorce before the military man is done with his duty.

This chief told the young men that they were no longer allowed to talk to the girls, and they were not allowed to get married or date while under his command. He told them this is a very common problem.

This is all third hand story so hope I got it correct enough, the point is, warn them to watch out for those types that will use them this way.

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All I can say is Thanks! By the time my son gets to boot camp next August I will be SET. That isn't an acronym, and sorry for shouting. Lora :^)

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Okay, but what if I am boo-hooing just reading your info? Hopeless I know. I received the box (which my son addressed to his step-father so he felt 'included') and have his first letter (absolutely priceless!). He has been in GL for 11 days and yes, it's harder than I imagined. Thank you for informing us on the basics!

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