Submariner Moms

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Comment by Rhonda8881 on October 28, 2009 at 9:43pm

I started a group for the USS Olympia. If you have a loved one on the sub, please join.
Thanks,
Rhonda

Comment by Rhonda8881 on October 16, 2009 at 4:30pm

Jan - I am very sorry that you son's Navy career is ending on a bad note. I know my son has had days, weeks, even months that he has been unhappy, but I still see it as being a good thing for him. Being in the Navy itself is different from a normal 8-5 job onshore, but Submarines are more different than that. It is very unfortunate that his deployment has been extended when he really wants to get home. Tell him Thank You for giving his country 6 years of his life.

At least he is not in Afganistan or Iraq. I have a friend who has been there for almost a year on her 2nd tour (Army). Her time is up in January but her deployment has been extended until March. She really wants to be home in January but understands that it is not that easy sometimes.

Even my husband who works an 8-5 job has had to reschedule his vacation at the last minute ...twice in the last 3 years due to changes at work. This year he will more than likely not spend all of his vacation days and his company has a use it or lose policy.

Life is not always what we want and it sucks to have to take that way, but I hope that things work out well for your son and your family so that he will have fond memories of his Naval career in the future.

Try to think of the good things he has learned and accomplished during his 6 years. I am sure it has made him the man he is and will do him well in the future. Never give up hope that good things will happen.

Comment by Mark on October 13, 2009 at 10:19pm

Hi Jan,
My thanks to your son for his service and congrats to him on a successful tour. I certainly can't blame him for choosing to get out - I made the same decision myself. You and he will both gain perspective over the years. Harsh decisions are sometimes made, and sometimes they don't have to be. The Navy is bigger than any single sailor, though. If a sailor chooses to save his leave, with the thought of taking it as terminal leave - he is rolling the dice to a certain extent. Seventy-two days is a heckuva lot of leave to save up (it takes almost two and a half years to save that). Submarines have small crews, and operational schedules do change. If they could not get his replacement on board in time for all of that terminal leave, and granting that amount meant going to sea with a watchstander on port and starboard watches (six hours on, six hours off perpetually) who otherwise wouldn't be, then they would have made a rational decision, that benefits the operational effectiveness of the crew.

Comment by gaileann@midrivers.com on October 13, 2009 at 10:44am

My son has been in the Navy for 11 years and while there have been times that the Navy did things that seemed unfair or just down right crazy, they also provide my son and his family with a good life in the overall scheme of things. My mother died while my son was at Sub School and he was not able to attend. I think most Navy Parents understand this or at lest they do if their children talked to them. It's almost always impossible for a member of a submarine crew to be returned to shore, this would jepordize their mission. Hope everything works out for you and your son. Proud Navy Mom

Comment by Jan Golden on October 13, 2009 at 10:27am

During my sons time in the Navy my dad died, my sister in law in a fatal car crash, and my husbands mother. He was not able to attend any of their funerals. So prepare your families for that too.

Comment by Jan Golden on October 13, 2009 at 10:24am

My son has been in the Navy for almost 6 years. He gets out finally December 12. This is the email I got from him today.
Hi mom,"Great News!" They've changed our schedule and I'll be underway longer. This means that I get no terminal leave and will not be back until a couple of weeks before my last day. This means that I lose 12 days of leave. I also have to move and try and get a job during Christmas. I guess this is what I deserve after serving my country for 6 years. A big F you while I'm going out the door. Anyway, I'll be happy to hear from you guys.Love,Beau The Navy owes his 72 days of leave. We are so very unhappy with the Navy. Why would he re-enlist when they treat them this way. During his time in the Navy he has missed both of his children growing up. They are 6 and 5 years old and live with us as his wife left him for another sailor. We live in AR he is stationed in WA. But even if they lived there he would never see them as he works all the time. For you mothers, spouses, friends etc. I hope it is different for you but for us joining the Navy was the biggest mistake.

Comment by lynn joe and geoffs mom on October 10, 2009 at 1:18am

hi just found this group. I have two sons and they are both now in the navy. with my youngest son arriving at boot camp yesterday.Both my boys will be in subs, Joseph is stationed in Pearl harbor and just came in to port last pm. i tell you it was a perfect time. I guess he is my angle.

Comment by Jeanne_778 on September 29, 2009 at 5:29pm

I'm also a former military spouse, now navy mom. My son has not only a wife, but two school-age daughters who miss their daddy when he's deployed and look forward to seeing him when he comes back. My DIL hosted a welcome home gathering at her home which we attended when the New Hampshire came home, but she and the girls had him all to themselves when the party ended.

Comment by Teresa (Erek's Mom) on September 26, 2009 at 7:45pm

I too was a military spouse, many moons ago. What Mag's article has to say is so true. Now my son is in the Navy (no daughter-in-law yet) but does give us Mom's something to remember. Thank you for posting this article.

Comment by Susan Kopp on September 25, 2009 at 10:54am

For those of you who want to keep Meg's article - I would recommend doing what Wendy did and copy it into your documents. That is how I was able to post it. I'm very glad that I was able to share it. Relationships are tough especially when you have a 'silent type' of sailor and an equally 'silent' dil. Hange in there we all have different opportunities and we are able to support eachother. Blessings and success to each of you in all your relationships~Susan

September is Ombudsman Appreciation month. Please teke time to tell yours THANK YOU~~s~~

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