Ari'smom Ship 03 Division 209's Page

To Arismom:  It seemed forever before my son knew anything about where C school was to be. He did not know where C school would be until just before the Christmas leave (almost a year after PIR).  I do not know if he was able to choose where C school was to be.  He said he was asked which ocean he would prefer...he said Pacific then he was told he would have the Atlantic. I do not think there's much choosing in the Navy.

Ari'smom, my son is the oldest too. We are also very close. I miss my son very much. I know my son is very capable and can live his own life. I think oldest kids grow up fast and are very mature. Maybe it is because they have more responsibility. I have to catch myself before I start giving him advice. LoL

Ari'smom, It is normal for you to see changes in your daughter. Sometimes good. Sometimes not so good. Life can be kind of stressful in the Navy at times.

I have a saying that I tell my son: "Everything in Moderation Including Moderation."  In other words. Use your common sense and don't do anything foolish. My son has seen many a Sailor ruin his or her Navy career by doing stupid things. It has been an eye opening experience for him. 

Try not to worry too much about changes you see in your daughter since joining the Navy. She will be fine.

As a mother it is so very hard to "let go."  It has taken me a long time. I just have to trust that I have raised him to make the right decisions.

Thank you for reaching out to me.  I can tell you that I do understand how  you feel.  After three years, I still miss my girl so much.  I was very close to both my girls (they are twins) and we spent several years just the three of us as my husband worked and lived outside the state from us.  We do talk on the phone quite a bit and occasionally skype - but sometimes the connection is just not good enough for that!!  I don't see anything wrong with explaining to your daughter that while her life is changing and she is experiencing so many new things and people, you are still the same Mom you were before she left.  Tell her you would like just a short phone call once a week to let you know how she is doing and what is going on in her life.  Ask her if she could email you once in awhile to tell you what her new life is like to her.  It might also help you to talk to other moms on this site and just be able to share your feelings.  There are other moms who don't hear from their sailors as much as they would like and you could find some kindred spirits to share with.  Sometimes our sailors get deployed and then we don't have communications with them often enough.  There are moms who can relate to how you feel.  Please don't ever feel like there is anything wrong with the way you feel.  You are the Mom and this isn't always an easy job!!!!  There were times when I hurt so much because my girl was going through a difficult time and there was nothing I could do for her.  I does help to talk to others who understand.  If nothing else - it helps us to realize we are not alone and there are others who are dealing with similar situations.  Please join us on the Daughters 2 group page.  We have some wonderful moms there who chat every day!!!!  Just keep in mind - not every mom struggles with the absence and they may have some strong opinions about letting go.  DON'T let them intimidate you into thinking you need to change how you feel!!!  Navy Hugs to you!!!

Opps - forgot to send you the link to the group!!!!  Sorry!!

http://www.navyformoms.com/group/momsofdaughters2

Ari'smom,

I saw your post on another member's page and noticed you have a daughter in boot camp now.  I want to invite you to come check out the Moms of Daughters 2 group.   We are a friendly, caring group of moms always willing to listen and support.  Please feel free to jump in and join our chats!!  We like to discuss everything from our sailors to our jobs, weather, whatever.  It's also a great place if you want to yell, scream, vent, cry - - there is no judgment involved!!!  You can come brag about your sailor but also tell us when you are hurting because you miss her so!!!  We look forward to getting to know you and your sailor!!  Welcome Aboard!!!!