Hello Everyone!
There has been some chatter on the boards (and in my PM’s) that I wanted to address.
I have made some ground rules, but I haven’t made official blogs about them, and I would like to do that now. The comment I am using is one I read recently, BUY by no means is this member alone in writing these concerns or thoughts- I am using it as an example because it’s well written and covers all the issues that need to be talked about.

RULE 1: You may not bash any other sites on this site.
Comment:
I also belong to another group online called Navy Moms Online and it is a totally different experience it is truly ONLY for Moms and I have found much more support there and …

My Response:
Bashing sites is totally and utterly unacceptable and will be deleted if I see it. I do not go to other sites and say: You’ll find more “fill in the blank” at our site. We at N4M’s want to educate viewers and members on how large the navy community is by acknowledging these sites … as seen in these links:

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topic/show?id=1971797%3ATopic%3A23407

And with conversations with Beth and Susan J we started a whole new section, just for recommendations of other online communities.

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topic/show?id=1971797%3ATopic%3A32000

If you have a site that you want to be put on our list… read these threads and contact me.

RULE 2: Navyformoms.com embraces moms and other family members.
Comment:
I was told about this site from a very good friend who also has a son in the Navy so I came to check it out. It is a fairly good site. However the title of the site is Navy for Moms and it has been somewhat of a disappoint to me when I now see that there are girlfriends,,wives...siblings..etc here. There are plenty of other sites out there for the g/f and wives but not many for just Moms. I feel the Moms have a very unique feeling about their sons and daughters going into the Military and should have a place all their own to post and share their thoughts and feelings with other Moms.

My Response:
So, as long as the girlfriends, wives, sailors, siblings, grandmothers and dads (etc) aren’t offended that this is called for navyformoms.com- then we will welcome them with open arms. In fact, their perspective brings a lot to our community and in many cases moms have learned from their story and have enjoyed their company. And if you look at what “non- moms” are asking… it’s the same things that the moms are asking. Yes, they have their specific groups that they are joining- but they aren’t harming the boards and I have no reason to discourage them for being here. We are all here because we miss and love somebody in the Navy and need more information and support. My cohorts and I hope that down the road, with the sites success, that we can make this more of Navy Family Site- But we decided to start this off with moms. Side Note: By looking at the member list though, non-mom members make up less than 10% on this site.

RULE 3: We’re an open community (and we are going to stay that way)…

Comment:
I sometimes wonder just how secure this site can be when anyone can join. Makes me kind of nervous..after all loose lips sink ships!!!!! … my biggest concern is keeping our guys and gals safe and out of harms way. I just wonder how long it will be before someone post something that should not be posted. I am curious as to whether everything that is posted is read by someone to be sure that all is well. There is just something about being able to pull up a Web Site and read about any problems people may have with our USN makes me a little uncomfortable. I had someone who does computer security for the government check the site out and he was amazed that all that was being put out there for the public to see at just a random glance as he put it is a slippery slope that this site is going down. It is obvious to me that no suggestions or input will be taken on how to make this site more secure. As far as putting this site out for future sailors or families of sailors if they are indeed trying to make a decision about joining I don't think this would be the best place to come to make that decision not when you see some of the complaints here about what happens once they join.

My Response:
Yes. This site is open. For a purpose! We are trying to help and educate moms and other members who have kids that are “thinking about joining”. We want to be a source that people can openly read and ask questions to other mothers (and other family member that is willing to answer them). Yes, I know there is going to be all types of content (but, it’s not a real community- if people can’t talk their issues out.) And we have a ton of Navy mom Pro’s and supporters that lend their advice and help in those situations.
“Loose lips, sink ships” has been said on here before. In fact, I am sending the house rules members as I greet them. Here they are:
http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topic/show?id=1971797%3ATopic%3A103
Also this privacy thread has been read and is in the forums and there are two schools of thought. After talking to our Navy connections- I am concluding that it all boils down with what you are comfortable with sharing:

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topic/show?id=1971797%3ATopic%3A11...

Here are a few ways to make your information private:
One is PM’s.
The best way to send messages to your friends is by using your address book on a network. With your address book, you can send a message to one, multiple, or all of your friends on that network at once.
To use your address book, click on the “My Friends” link in the right hand column of the network. Next, click the link to “Send message to friends.” You’ll be able to select friends from your address book and write them messages from this page.
Also, you make Private Blogs:
You get to decide who can view your blog posts: just you, just your friends, or everyone (the default setting). To change this setting, click the “My Settings” link in the box on the right column of the page. Click “Privacy” and click the circle next to who you want to read your blog.
By default, your blog posts are set to allow anyone who can read them to comment on them. You can change this option and limit who can comment on posts to only your friends — or only you. You can also decide if you want to approve comments before they are posted or all comments to posted immediately. These options are listed under the “Privacy” link under your “My Settings” as well.
Finally, each time you write a blog post, you can override your settings to further expand or restrict your audience!

** All questions (from deleting your account, to uploading photos, etc) can be found on this site: http://help.ning.com/ **

I am here to keep the “trolls out”. Which, I have already exercised. Also, as we grow bigger and stronger- we have some GREAT members that help in self-policing this site. And I am truly grateful for that.

I stand firm in making this a community were everyone feels comfortable. (Though, I know, I can’t make everyone happy), People share what they are comfortable with while keeping the rules in mind.

http://www.navyformoms.com/profiles/blog/show?id=1971797%3ABlogPost...

Sincerely, Catherine