missing my son

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Permalink Reply by Donna on August 30, 2008 at 1:13pm

My son was also on a sub..it drove me crazy not hearing from him!!!!!!!! I know they have e-mail, but it is always down..I would call his cell phone about 1000 times just to hear his voice...I would also e-mail him about 1000 times everytime he was out at sea...where is your son stationed?

Permalink Reply by T's mom on August 30, 2008 at 1:46pm

My son is in avaition on a base and I don't hear from him too often.He has a myspace so I keep up with him there.He can't post anything that will get him in trouble but its a good way to communicate with him.He has been in the navy 2 years.I miss him alot it has been over a year since I have seen him.Now hes in training for over seas and he can't call much at all.
I love this site and every one can relate to each other.I'm glad we have it.

Permalink Reply by carols_kitchen on August 30, 2008 at 6:10pm

How did myspace help?

Permalink Reply by Laurie (Mom Of Bob & Mike!) on August 30, 2008 at 9:13pm

MYspace.com really helps if you both have spaces there.
My son is Okinawa right now and ocassionally posts pictures for me to view. You can send them messages either in eamil or instant message, or even by posting it to their Bulletin board. A great way to communicate with them. I miss my son also, he was the last to leave home.
Take care and I hope this helps.

Permalink Reply by Michelle Pendel on August 30, 2008 at 2:55pm

Nan, I just joined the N4M site. My son just left on 8-27 and I have cried myself to sleep every night. I knwo that he will be okay, but it is the "unknown" and he truly sounded down on the 90 second phone call that he got when he reached RTC. How long has your son been gone and how old is he? My son is 18. he just graduated in May'08. Michelle

Permalink Reply by Michelle on August 31, 2008 at 9:43am

Michelle,

You and I are in about the same 'phase' of the Boot Camp blues. Mike left 8/22 and I too am still crying myself to sleep at night, waking up crying in the middle of the night and waking up in the morning with a lump in my throat. I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours here and there. I feel so silly whenever anyone asks me about him because it results in the same thing...more tears. I think I may be feeling a little bit better this weekend as I was finally able to muster enough motivation to start the laundry and actually cook a meal yesterday for my sweet husband (who has really been terrific in rolling with the flow, no pun intended).

Yesterday I got 'The Form Letter' with his 2-3 lines on the back page and I keep reading it over and over. It feels good just to see his handwriting. I was able to go into his room this morning without having a meltdown so I think, perhaps, I'm getting stronger.

The reason I'm telling you all this is to let you know you are not alone. It is SO true about us 'Moms'...unless you're in our shoes you literally have no clue what we're going through. Family & Friends can say they understand all they want but unless they're a Military Mom, they really don't have a clue about the intense raw pain & loneliness we feel. At the same time, the incredible PRIDE makes us smile even when we're alone just thinking of them.

I'm taking it step by step, goal by goal, day by day. My next goal is to hear his voice. Hopefully that will come next weekend. I get excited just thinking about it. Did you get his box of things yet? I found great comfort in that box....the tears were not nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be. I'm also finding a great deal of comfort in mailing as many cards/letters as I can every other day or so.. For some reason, I can't help but think as long as he's getting mail nearly every day, he'll know he is still very much a part of my life even tho he's not here. I've rallied all his friends to send funny cards & letters and they're all on board! I hope they follow through and indeed send them. (I think they will!)

Please feel to write anytime...I keep praying for this to get easier and by golly I think it may be improving, (if only a tiny bit!) so there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Very sincerely,
Michelle Roberts in Texas

Permalink Reply by Sheila on August 31, 2008 at 1:01pm

HI.. my son started boot camp at Great Lakes July 22nd. He is is DIV 343 and will graduate Sept. 12th. I do know how you feel. Ben is one of 6 children, next to last. I miss him so much it hurts. It has gotten better somewhat. We had gotten notice that Ben got Pnuemonia and was in the Medical Center up there, but they took good care of him and he will graduate on time. Yesterday was a very HARD time for me. I had gone out and missed my ONE and only call from Ben. I waited and waited for that call, only to miss it, I cried all day, but I think it just all caught up with me. He sends me letters every week and for that I am so happy. I will be going to see him Graduate soon and then he goes to Pensacola, FLA. for school. HANG in there, it will get better. I am so proud of our sons and daughters!
Sheila

Permalink Reply by carols_kitchen on August 31, 2008 at 1:16pm

We N4M carried our letters with us--even the form letter.

Permalink Reply by Nan Pearl mom of Matt on September 2, 2008 at 7:10am

Michelle,

Matt actually finished boot camp in May of 07. PIR will be was great. Other than seeing him the first second he was born it was one of the most amazing and emotional events of my life as a mother. You will me moved beyond words. I hope that you can make it. Matt was in sub school in Groton, which was only a 5 hour drive from home. He seemed close and I did not miss him as much becauce I know that it was not impossiable to go see him. Hawaii is so far. Being a navy mom now I can tell you that it will get easier but there will be days that the pain of missing your child will be almost to intense, but it will pass. Matt called me Friday he sounded great, and so happy. He loves what he is doing and taht is a comfort to me. Who knew that it would be so hard emotionally when your child left home? I have kept every letter Matt sent me and also copies of ones I sent him. I am saving them in a scrap book for Matt along with other keepsakes, such as the pass to get on base at boot camp. Thanks for your note. If you are ever having a bad day feel free to cry on my shoulder.
Nan Pearl, Proud Navy Mom

Permalink Reply by stevensmom on September 1, 2008 at 12:28am

I am reading exactly the emotions I had when Steven left on the 5th of August. I cried the entire way home and everyday for two weeks. The "call" was useless as it was collect and he didn't talk loud enough for the system to register his collect call and so we were disconnected without even being allowed to speak to one another. Then, 2 weeks later, he calls home and is terribly upset. He is homesick and miserable. I talked him through this and encouraged him. I told him this feeling was normal and everyday would get a little better. Once we hung up, my tears fell like rain. I could not say his name, literally. I would refrain from talking about him, because of the tears that poured.
Finally, I decided enough is enough. He is making something of his life and the tears are a selfish part of me that just wants him home. He is building a career and I should consider this as what is most important. I have gotten better, but tears still form occassionally.
This past Tuesday, Steven called. He is now in his third week of bootcamp. He has adjusted and met friends and is learning so much. He and I write each other and I think we are developing a relationship that will not be severed.
It will get better for you, but not without much effort and determination. Press on to the goal and be in control of this tough time through your attitude. It can make a world of difference.

Permalink Reply by Sue on September 1, 2008 at 9:32pm

I have sent 2 sons off to boot camp and I know if I had a third one to go it would not get any easier. My sons went thru boot camp in 2003 & 2004 but I happened to be told about a book, "Honor, Courage, and Commitment" by JF Leahy and it is (or was at the time it was written back in early 2002-I think) all about what our kids are experiencing at bootcamp. JF Leahy followed a division thru their bootcamp experience. It helped me understand some of the things my boys were telling me in those quick phone calls or those priceless letters and it helped me on those sleepless night. I also got a copy of the Blue Jacket Manual, which is a book Navy recruits study from and it gives the basics of most everything in the Navy...another good book that helped me stay close to my sailor when he was far way in bootcamp. Stay Strong-Stay Safe.

Permalink Reply by Amanda on September 1, 2008 at 10:09pm

Hi i want to tell you everything will be alright.I just got home last night from great lakes.It was the most amazing graduation i have ever seen.I am 23 and i have a 4 yo and my husband and i have been talking and its always been my dream to join the military.I am going to talk to a recruiter to see about joining th e Navy.Im excited and its a good life! im just nervous about leaving my lil man and husband.goodluck

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