Thank You from Richard's Mom
I don't know where to begin....to thank all of of you for your most kind words, heartfelt thoughts and prayers and the most gorgeous wreath of flowers I've ever seen during the most difficult time in my family's life. I've recieved cards from mothers with whom I've never even spoken to here on N4M, and am just astounded at the outpouring of love and support from you all.
Words are not enough and inadequate for the appreciation and gratitude I have for all of you and most of all to Christina. C from T was right there from the beginning, did not hesitate for a moment to come and be by my side, to help or do whatever our family needed. She has been a Godsend and I hope you know how much I love you for all that you are and all you did. I know we were all in a fog of disbelief and just doing what people told us we must do. After the funeral and all the planning was over, I felt a small bit of relief in that maybe the healing can begin, but my heart still hurts, I can't stop thinking about my beautiful Richard and although going back to work this week was difficult and coworkers were kind, there were still tearful moments and just couldn't wait to go home. I'm sure I've bored some with pictures and talking about him about this whole incident, but I hope people understand, that at times I can't talk about it and other times I probably don't shut up. Richard's wife Marjorie, bless her heart, has her moments of course, we've been there when she opened up the boxes of his "personal effects", and it's like reliving it all over again. We all went thru his uniforms, civilian clothes, even towels and held them close, just to try and get a sense of Richard again. Marjorie gave me one of his dog tags and I wear it every day with pride and sadness, kiss it when I'm especially down.
One thing I should say tho, is how well the Navy took care of our family in arranging everything. It was difficult at best to deal with a blended family and a new wife, but Chief Petty Officer Mandy Bouchard deserves accolades in her own right. She was patient, kind and bent over backwards with arrangements, answering questions and getting answers for the ones she didn't know. I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience this, but be assured that the Navy will take care of you, they believe in family.
Again, I want to thank all of you for everything, words cannot express enough the gratitude and love for you and the love and support I have recieved. May God Bless each of you.
Andrea
Words are not enough and inadequate for the appreciation and gratitude I have for all of you and most of all to Christina. C from T was right there from the beginning, did not hesitate for a moment to come and be by my side, to help or do whatever our family needed. She has been a Godsend and I hope you know how much I love you for all that you are and all you did. I know we were all in a fog of disbelief and just doing what people told us we must do. After the funeral and all the planning was over, I felt a small bit of relief in that maybe the healing can begin, but my heart still hurts, I can't stop thinking about my beautiful Richard and although going back to work this week was difficult and coworkers were kind, there were still tearful moments and just couldn't wait to go home. I'm sure I've bored some with pictures and talking about him about this whole incident, but I hope people understand, that at times I can't talk about it and other times I probably don't shut up. Richard's wife Marjorie, bless her heart, has her moments of course, we've been there when she opened up the boxes of his "personal effects", and it's like reliving it all over again. We all went thru his uniforms, civilian clothes, even towels and held them close, just to try and get a sense of Richard again. Marjorie gave me one of his dog tags and I wear it every day with pride and sadness, kiss it when I'm especially down.
One thing I should say tho, is how well the Navy took care of our family in arranging everything. It was difficult at best to deal with a blended family and a new wife, but Chief Petty Officer Mandy Bouchard deserves accolades in her own right. She was patient, kind and bent over backwards with arrangements, answering questions and getting answers for the ones she didn't know. I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience this, but be assured that the Navy will take care of you, they believe in family.
Again, I want to thank all of you for everything, words cannot express enough the gratitude and love for you and the love and support I have recieved. May God Bless each of you.
Andrea
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Brenda Sue on -
Aw Andrea, how sweet of you to post this!! I am glad that you had C from T with you and many more moms around the country keeping you in their thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time!!
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Permalink Reply by C from T on -
Andrea,
I would have been nowhere but right there with you, as I know you would have been for me. I am always just a phone call away and you know you can make that call day or night. Hearts are going to continue to heal and continue to hurt and I hope that you lean on me whenever you need to. I love you girl!
C
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Permalink Reply by Rose R on -
God bless you too Andrea. I felt so sad for you when I heard of your loss. I don't know you or your daughter in law, but I do know grief. My mom died in Dece. and I too keep things of hers close, wear a few items of clothing that were hers, and her wedding ring is on my r ring finger. These things are comforts, and sometimes bring on a fountain of tears.I will be doing good, and then a song. ashow she woul like any number of things are triggers for tears. Don't let anyone tell you how you should grieve. We all have our own walk with this.
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Permalink Reply by LynnDear on -
Andrea, that you for sharing your story of your wonderful son with us. I know your heart aches, but I still can't imagine how much it hurts. As a counselor I learned that people fear that if they heal, they are afraid that they will forget their loved one. You know that you will never forget Richard. I am greatful that you had so much support and guidance at a time you can only feel and not think. Please keep in touch with us. And thank you for letting us know that the Navy will help if we are ever in need. God bless you. Lynn
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Permalink Reply by Steve's Mom on -
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Permalink Reply by Under the Radar Mom on -
Andrea,
Your friends will be here for you whenever you need us. We are sharing in your pain and healing.
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Permalink Reply by P from B on -
I pray that God will continue to bless and comfort you. I was in Norfolk last week and thought about you every day. Can't imagine the pain and grief you are feeling, but I hope that time will lessen the grief and leave only the love and happy times in your memory of Richard. I'm so glad Christina was there. She is a good friend. Keep well, and share anything you need to. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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Permalink Reply by Jackie on -
Andrea, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, but I am so glad that the Navy took such good care of you and your family. I am also glad that C form T could be there with you. Richard will always live through your memories of him, keep them close and he will always be with you. My prayers will be with you.We will always be here for you.
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Permalink Reply by Tmama on -
Continue to feel squeezed from all these moms, Andrea. One of my best friends lost her son during his jr. year in high school in a car accident, and I have been w/ her during this five year recovery. I do not profess to know what you are feeling, but can only imagine. Your moving on is going to be a journey, w/ ups and downs. Be continually at peace knowing that he is in a far better place to be reunited w/ you again one day. I am going to share your note w/ my son in SD. I am sure it will give him continued motivation to go and work hard, because he is still here and can! Know that Richard goes on in the hearts of many of the sailors, bringing them strength and motivation. You may know this blessing...my favorite: May the Lord bless and keep you. May His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May He look upon you with favor and give you PEACE.
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Permalink Reply by Kim B. on -
Andrea,
You don't know me, but I happened across your post and wanted to reach out to you and offer my most heartfelt condolences. My son Kyle just left for boot camp on 9/4 and releasing him to God was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Kyle is my oldest and only living son. I had a special needs son who passed away at age seven back in 1997. You are currently walking one of the most difficult paths a parent can walk!!
I too am a nurse and when my son passed I was grateful for that and still am to this day. As nurses we are care takers and we understand death perhaps better then the general population. I never felt uncomfortable talking about my son with my nurse friends. I hope that will be your experience as well.
There is no easy way to walk through this pain...just one step at a time. Remember to take care of yourself. Sleep when you need to sleep...eat when you need to eat...cry when you need to cry. It will be a wound you carry forever, and one you will never want to forget.
God Bless you and your family,
Kim B.
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Permalink Reply by Dianne (Drew's Mom) on -
Andrea,
Please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss. I can not even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. Please allow yourself to be quiet when you need to and to cry when you need to. Don't worry what other people think. If people can't understand, then they are not people you want around you at this time anyway. I have been praying for you every day, and will continue to do so. What a precious gift Marjorie gave you with Richard's dog tag. We have heard some sad stories on here where the sailor's new spouse and the mom do not get along. Marjorie sounds like a very special girl. It's no wonder Richard loved her. Keep in touch with her, and perhaps you can heal together
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Permalink Reply by judy crawford on -
Andrea im so sorry to here about your loss.my heart goes out to you and your family.but you know that navyformoms is just an extenison of your family so we all are to feeling the sorrow. my heart.and prayers are with you and your extended family.if there is ever anything i can do for you please let me know.may god bless you and keep you strong..
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