16 year old son?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Permalink Reply by Mary, Proud Mom of Nick on October 31, 2008 at 12:43pm

I love a person with a plan - especially a young adult with a plan! Go to groups and enter Seals Moms for lots of good information and your mom might enjoy chatting with some of those moms as well. Good Luck with your mom Al and keep us posted - we will be looking forward to seeing you in uniform!

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Permalink Reply by Kristen - Maryssa's mom on October 31, 2008 at 12:39pm

Al,
First, let me tell you that most 16 year old boys probably wouldn't be this proactive in getting information to help their mom feel more at peace with a decision like this. You sound like an awesome son and your mom should be ver proud of you. As far as earning your mom's support I would say that you need to let her know what you want to do and why. When my daughter mentioned the Navy to me I was worried but after speaking with the recruiter and researching on the internet I felt more at ease with it. The more information that you have when you approach her, the easier it should go for you. And please, show her this website as most moms here were worried and cried when we watched our kids grow up and leave for boot camp. You sound like a very mature young man and the Navy would be lucky to have you - you're mom did a good job!!

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Permalink Reply by C from T on October 31, 2008 at 12:39pm

I would sit her down and say:
Mom, I have started looking into plans for my future. I have looked at all branches of the Military and I think I have decided on the Navy. Before you start getting upset I want to tell you what I have learned. I know that I would like to be a Navy SEAL and have looked into this alot. I know that I will have health benifits, housing, retirement, VA loans, ect... I want to do something to help my country and my family have a better life and future. Ad lib where you like but I think this might help her to understand that you HAVE looked into this. Then bring her to your page and let her see how you have even looked into helping her thru this. I think that would be the GROWN up thing to do.

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Permalink Reply by Joyce (J from O) on October 31, 2008 at 12:41pm

Ok, first of all you are an amazing young man. It is wonderful that you are considering your mom's feelings so much. This is my advice. Print off what you wrote. Get her by herself and hand it to her. She will be so appreciative of your consideration of her feelings. All moms hate to see their kids grow up. But it is part of the process. It will not be easy for her. But you know what that is a blessing. It will be hard because she loves you so much.
My husband just retired from 26 years in the military and my son is in boot camp right now. Our relationship has not suffered in the least. My husband and I are very close to our parents and our son well always be our pride and joy. We wanted him to follow his heart. Are we concerned for his safety of course we are. But for a young person to want to step forward and serve their country is very honorable. I will pray for you and your mom. Tell her about this site. She can find much comfort and support here.

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Permalink Reply by Pam on October 31, 2008 at 12:48pm

Al, Your mom is your mom and it is her job to worry about you and your future. As you can see by this website, us moms are extremely good at worrying about our children, and it doesn't matter what age they are, we still worry. Oh and we cry alot too. When my daughter told me she wanted to join the navy, she was 18 and it was quite a surprise. One of the things that helped me to be able to support her was that I recognized she had done her homework and was able to tell me what she had learned in her own research. I also recognized her focus on her career and future. I would have been very upset if she had gone to the recruiter without telling me about it. And do show her this website as there is alot of information here. Maybe ease her into your interest in SEAL. I'm very proud of my daughter, she left earlier this week for BC and I am still crying, but that doesn't mean I don't support her, I just worry and miss her. Good luck to you in your future!

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Permalink Reply by Donna (P.D. is my sailor) on October 31, 2008 at 12:53pm

First off Al, you can't join without your parents signing the papers, you can't, and you need to of course finish Highschool., or the Navy won't take you,.Al it doesn't matter if you are 18 or 80 no matter how old you are your mama will take it hard. as most Moms would, I know I sure did, I just got one daughter out of bootcamp this month and Next year my baby daughter is going. It is hard for any Mom to let their young go,it is hard to let them go out into the world, but it happens because that is the order of Nature. You tell your Mother that you love her, and that when you are old enough your wishes for your life is to Join the Military, that you need her strength to keep you strong, tell her that she raised you right that your are growing up strong and proud, and you want to protect your country and her way of life. Tell her she didn't raise an idiot, she planted the seeds for a boy to grow into a strong MAN., and when you are done talking to her about it, you remember to tell her that you love her, even if she is crying you do not cry, you show her how strong you are because of the strength she gave you growing up..But Al, you always remember that a mothers love for her Children can never be broken, and she will always love you.. You also give her plenty of time to adjust to the idea of you going into the military, and don't sneak behind her back taking the ASVAB test, cause that can make her distrust your recuriter, and she needs to trust the recuriter,that is very important!

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Permalink Reply by Michelle Pendel on October 31, 2008 at 1:05pm

16 year old young man,

It sounds as if you have put a lot of thought into this for a couple of years. My son has just finished navy boot camp and is in Pensacola, FL waiting for his A-school to begin. I have four sons and Zach is 18. I have two older sons and a younger son. He began talking about the Navy during his junior year of high school. In January of his Senior year, my husband and I went with him to the recuriter's office and asked a lot of questions. The next Saturday, we had to sign papers allowing Zach to make the decision to join because he was only 17. This is something that I knew that he had desired for over a year and even though I was very hesistant, especially now in time of war, I backed him 100% because this is a decision that HE had made to better his life in the future.

He had tried out for the seals also in DEP training and passed the test, but before he left he changed his mind. He has even looked at the SWICC's.

I would talk with your mom up front and tell her your thoughts. You have some time before you can join on your own so let her think about what you are telling her. She may even feel she is contributing to the future that YOU want by signing papers to let you join before you are 18. Keep the communication line open. My son always did. This will help your mom a lot. I probably wouldn't tell her about the seals at this time, just let her get used to the idea of her son joining the military first and then when this idea becomes settled in her mind, then tell her your thoughts on what you would like to do and why. Have a list ready of all the positives to show her. She will ask about negatives, but be very brief with them. Are you close to your sisters? Are they older? If so, ask them also how to handle telling your mom what your desires are for the future.
Honesty is the best policy, I firmly believe this. Follow your heart and let the Good Lord guide your decisions and pray about how to talk to your mom. Definitely show her this website. It was a God send for me during my son's boot camp.
hope this helps.
Zach's mom- M

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Permalink Reply by Tim Talbott on October 31, 2008 at 1:06pm

The best thing to do is tell her as early as possible of your intentions, do not hide them. You have to be 17 to enlist anyway so that gives you some time to prove to your mom that you are serious. Do some research on navy.com, and militayr.com. Make sure you have all of your information when you talk. Like I said be open and honest. That is the best thing. Include your mom in every step. Even have the recruiter come to your house to talk to you and your mom.

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Permalink Reply by Sandy Barham on October 31, 2008 at 1:18pm

Well you would be making a wise choice. My son and had a marine recruiter come and talk to us and we didnt like how he sounded. Then He arranged for the Navy recruiter to come and we really were impressed with thier program. Maybe you might take your mom to the recruiting office or invite them to come to your home and talk to your parents. I am sure that after talking with them that your parents would agree width your decision. My son is now in his second year he is a SeaBee now and plans to go seal once he gains rank. All mothers are apprehensive about their sons going into the military but I can tell you that the Navy has the best programs and the best training. Is there a recruiter that comes to your school? If not go to the recruiting office in your area and get some pamphlets with the information in them. Oh and sometimes there are pamphlets at your local library. But you will get a better range of information from the recruiting office. Lots of luck! And show her this website.

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Permalink Reply by AZMom on October 31, 2008 at 9:12pm

Remember All--- The Navy is the only branch of the services that have you sign a contract for the rating you will be going into, as well as the rank you will have coming out of Boot Camp. JrROTC experience in High School as well as the amount of work you do with the recruiter while in DEP affects whether you will be an E2 or E3 out of Boot. The contract also stipulates if there is a bonus assigned to the rating and when you will recieve it. It also tells you how long you are signing up for and if it will be all Active Duty or Active then Reserve.It also tells you how much schooling you will need once out of Boot, how long the training is and where it is. MAKE SURE THE RECRUIT AS WELL AS MOM AND DAD READ THE CONTRACT THOUROUGHLY BEFORE SIGNING. This is the way you get what you want. Once you have signed and you decide that you want another rating, you can ask your recruiter to research the need, he will contact MEPS and if available, you could get your second choice, again you will need to sign a contract that tells you exactly what you are getting into. My daughter changed Ratings 3 times while in DEP. Our Recruiter was excellent and very supportive. Remember, if you have any problems with the Recruiter in your immediate area, you can go to another Recruiting Station.

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Permalink Reply by Popeyes Mom on October 31, 2008 at 1:18pm

Hi Al...Every bit of advice these moms have shared is wonderful. You seem very intelligent and proactive for your age. And because you have come to us for advice, we are going to be honest with you. So, here is my two cents worth as well.
You're mom will cry. I don't think there is anything you can say or do to change that. Because as Moms, it's just our job to be momma bears when we sense danger. She'll cry, whether it's in front of you or in her room alone. Even if she accepts your decision she will cry with pride on the day you leave, on the day you graduate from boot camp, on the days you ship out and on the days you come home. She'll get better about keeping her tears from you. Giving her plenty of time to get use to the idea is a good thing.
When my son graduated from high school, I told him he had three choices for his future: 1. college, 2. blue collar jobs and 3. the military. He tried the first two and didn't like either one. The day he came to me and told me he wanted to join the Navy...it didn't surprise me. The more information I learned about the Navy personally (I did my own research), the better I felt and was able to give him my 100% support. He was prepared mentally and physically when he left for boot camp. He is now a very successful sailor, and I'm tremendously proud of him. Today is his last day of leave before he ships out again, I didn't cry this time.
Give your mom this website...she can do plenty of research on her own...and we'll help her if she wants to start her own page and talk to us.
Good Luck.

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Permalink Reply by Kellie on October 31, 2008 at 1:34pm

i deffinitly feel like it would better for you to tell her sooner than later, so that way she has time to prepare for it and its not just all a sudden you leave and shes feels like she had no time with you. my fiance entered the DEp program the day he turned 17, his parents knew all a long thats what he wanted to do and that it made it easier on them than if he were to just spring it on him and say oh by they way im leaving in a couple days for bootcamp...lol...so im my opion talk to her as soon as possible so yall can look up information together and the more you get her involved with it the better it might make her feel....best of luck to you!

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