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Second thoughts
Views: 1164
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Craig on
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ImThinkingNavy -
There are very little repercussions. You will probably never be able to come back into the Navy without waivers because of being "wishy-washy", but there are 100's others behind you to accept that job. If you have a valid reason, the Navy may even support it. Example, if you said that you have decided to go college instead, and come out as a Naval Officer, then the Navy might fully support that. All you needs to do is submit a DEP discharge chit. You really don't have to explain anything. The appoval doesn't happens quick, it usually doesn't happen until the date of ship. This prevents you from going to other services to enlist. If the ship date comes without the approval, then you just don't go. Out of respect, you should continue to let the recruiter know that you will not ship when the time comes. This allows the recuiter not to waste any time looking for you, thinking that you may have forgotten.
You needs to understand alot of people will be ticked. They spent alot of time putting together a package, going through medical, and signing many forms. They will tell you, "you already swore in and signed a contract and swore allegiance to the United States. However, this is a non-binding contract for a couple of reasons. First off is the fact that we are an all volunteer force, a decision has been made that it would be against the premise of an all volunteer force to force anyone to go. Secondly - no pay nor benefits have yet been realized. There has been talk about actually paying a stipended to those in the DEP to make the contract more solid if brought to court but refer to reason one as to why it didn't go any further.
If anyone gives you the "but you swore, you have to honor that contract", you should ask if they or their parents are divorce, then ask them "But didn't you swear in front of God, that you would love your wife or husband till death, but you got a divorce?". That shuts them up every time. Yes, they will threaten you, saying you will get a "dishonorable discharge". If they do, ask them when the last time that happen (FYI, a dishonorable discharge can only be given at a General Court Martial for major crimes like murder, rape, child porn). If they said it just happen recently, then tell them this is the reason you don't want to go in, it's because they are not upholding the Navy Core Values. What does this mean?It means "I will abide by an uncompromising code of integrity, taking full responsibility for my actions and keeping my word. I will conduct myself in the highest ethical manner in relationships with seniors; peers and subordinates. I will be honest and truthful in my dealings within and outside the Department of the Navy. I will fulfill my legal and ethical responsibilities in my public and personal life." Obviously, they're not upholding the values by lying to you with these threats.... People will say you aren't either. But remember, you haven't been trained on what the Navy Core Values are.
Believe me, I am as Pro-Navy as they come. However, I would not want someone who doesn't want to be in the Navy serving next to my son. I want whoever that person is, to be fully committed to the Navy, and to protect my son, as he would protect them.I run a deppers website (NavyDEP.com), every depper gets cold feet. You really need to review the benefits that you will be missing out on. Remember, the economy sucks, most young people just don't understand that it may appears the Navy doesn't earn much, but we get all income in benefits that are taxed free. Walmart doesn't give you $2K in housing allowance, $1K in free medical, $1K in dental. and a whole bunch of other things. You really need to do alot of soul searching....
So there you are.... Hope this helps....
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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It isn't quittting the Navy it is quitting DEP, you aren't even in the USN until you get to bootcamp. If you don't want in the military...than go to your recruiter and tell him/her. As Craig said there are 100's of people behind you who would love your spot.
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Permalink Reply by BunkerQB on
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Probably 1000s behind who want to take your spot and 1000s who are ACTUALLY SERVING and would like to keep their spots. Please don't go in if your heart is not in it. You'll be a pain in the ass for everyone else in your unit. It's really OK not to want to go in right now. You have a right to check things out in the real world. It maybe that you are just not ready to commit for 5-6 years to an endeavor. Or maybe you can't stand the idea of being away from family and friends yet. You may not feel up to facing the unknown yet. Or perhaps, you have met someone and want to see where the relationship goes first. They are all valid reasons for dropping out of DEP. If you haven't started college, please start taking classes - explore the world - you are only young once. Be open. This decision has to be for YOU and YOU only. Good luck.
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BunkerQB - This was actually written for her, but I will write it to you so it doesn't appear that I'm dogging her... ~ha.
What this gal needs to realize is both College, and the Navy are 4 years (alot of times 5 years long). So as far as time is concerned, they are both a wash. However after 4 years with the Navy you will leave with zero (0) education cost.
The Navy will pay for all of her education while she is in, once her learns her job. Once she has served her time, she can use the eduation benefits she earned to contuine on to her advance degrees (Masters, or Doctorates degree). If she should decide not to use it, then you can pass it along to her children.
She will also have the experience in whatever job you will be doing. Most of the batte in the civilian world if no one wants to hire you because you have no experience. Not only will the Navy give you the experience, but she will also become a leader.
She will get BAH (Housing), my son make $3000 per month in Hawaii for housing. That's $36K per year that she is not figuring in.
Medical - man, medical cost most families $4K or more per year. Then they have to pay dedectable.
Dental - Your and your family is free, how much does this cost your college friends?
BAS (Food allowance) - Yep, yet again we get paid extra for food. Do they?
Gym - Our gyms are state of the art. They are awesome. We don't pay for them.
Vision - Yep free vision
30 days of vacation - Do you parents or anyone you know get 30 days vacation a year? Even someone with 30 years in a civilain company doesn't.
Career Sea Pay - More money again that people fail to take into consideration.
Clothing Maintenance Allowance - Do civilian companies pay for your uniforms? Nope....
Governement subsidized grocery store (commissary) - Our grocery stores are non-profit. We get things extremely cheap. 1 Gallon of milk in Hawaii in the economy = $11, and at the commissary $2.
Extremely cheap life insurance ($20 for $200K worth of coverage)
Legal (notaries, advise) - Free
Tax free shopping (Exchange)
Annual Cost of Living adjustments (~3.5%)
Moving expenses
You can retire at age 38.... Get paid $1800mo for life
Burial for life for you and spouse ($10K x 2), plus child if under 21
Free or near free heath benefits for life (you and spouse, and children under 21 or 23 of going to college)
VA home loans
The list just goes on and on. People just fail to realize what we (the Navy) truly get. Yes, she might be thinking of college, but she has to think about the Navy too, and realize that she might be much better ahead if she joined......
Man, I should be a recruiter huh?
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Hey, this would be a great addition to the reference pages on NEW MOMS STOP HERE. Would you mind if I did this with the suggestion that people contact you if they have further questions.
As for her having "second thoughts" you are looking for this from a daddy's perspective - future job security, downside vs upside. The truth is for most people there is no downside to joining the Navy. However, from a mommy's perspective - you have to consider the depper may simply not be ready emotionally. A young person is college age just once at 18. There is something magical about being in college (particularly if parents can provide the support) free to think, free to explore and learn about yourself. Perhaps I am being indulgent. My husband and I recently had a conversation about this. He thought with the prolonged economical doldrums, very few families could afford the luxury of sending their kids to college without help. I am still a believer that some young adults need time to develop - simply not in anything as structured as the Navy. For those who are - joining the Navy is a fantastic way to go.
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Permalink Reply by ImThinkingNavy on
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Thank you to all who replied. You did a great job at pointing out all of the great things the Navy has to offer. As of right now I am still undecided. My boyfriend does not want me to join. He just considers it 4+ years wasted if I do it to go to college afterwards when I could just go to college now. He swears that if I go through with the Navy that I will regret it and that he will have nothing to do with me. So as of right now I just feel stuck. Just about everyone else is all for it. I'm not sure where to go from here.
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You have to decide for yourself. My suggestion is think what your decision would be if you did not have this boyfriend. Any man who threaten you if you choose to join the Navy is trying to control you. At this stage of the game it's rather shallow. Do not let anyone control your destiny. He is afraid you might be successful and leave him in the dust.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Spot on, Bunker. I bet he has her college major in mind too, and what he'll be doing when she's going to school. And where she should go to school.
Does he have opinions about what your wear and who your friends are?
I had that college boyfriend. I joined the Navy and that was MUCH better than a guy trying to control me. You can get a degree at any age you choose, but you can't replace the experience the military gives you.
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Emma, getting married! Ahhhh. OK. What color is your dress? Sorry, ImThinkingNavy got to get to the important stuff here. I think I said it before but don't stop me, "Dump the boyfriend."
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Seems to me you have gotten a lot of great advice from people who have some experience with all of it. You must make the final decision but dont make it cause the boyfriend doesnt want you to go and will not have anything to do with you if you do. that says to me he is a loser in a big way..a control freak who will cut you off from family and friends and expect you do take care of him and no one else. since you are asking i would say you already have doubts about him not the navy.
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Are you serious! You are worried about what your boyfriend wants..is he paying your bills? Is he supporting you 100%? Does he have paper work stating he will take care of all your college bills? Does he run your life! GROW UP! The minute you go againts what he wants, he will be out the door...so do it now to get rid of the dead weight. It is YOUR LIFE.
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ImThinkingNavy - Ok, I'm a guy, so I'm going to give this from a guys point of view.
He doesn't want you to go because he won't be getting laid anymore. He is looking at all of this from his point of view (which is sticking straight out at a 90 degree angle of the dangle) and is only looking at it to solve his needs. You can let him run your life, or you can take the bull by that horns and run yours. It is you that has to live with your thoughts and ideas years from now.
Per the BF, do you really think you will be with this guy 1 yr, 3yrs, or 5yrs from now? I don't. What relationship last that long? Not many. God put all these people on this earth so you can select the mate you want, with all the items that you look for. Yea, if you have low self esteem then you will select anyone that shows any interest in you. Which is wrong. Being a gal in the Navy, the ratio of guys to gals is like 85%. You will have your choice of finding a guy that shows the same interest in you, as you do in him. So don't cut yourself short, you need to find something better.
You need to look at your future, What is it that you want? If any woman did what this guy is doing to you, then I would kick them to the curb. You need to show respect to yourself, and to do things you want to do. You have soooo many years ahead of you. Have fun, live life, and do things that you want to do....
I run a Navy deppers website, I would love for you to meet some of the other guys and gals deppers we have. They will get you motovated on joining. The website is NavyDEP.com
Here are list of the ones who posted, and when they are leaving. These soon-to-be sailors are really motovated to go....
August 2011
08/02 - Cwojasinski (Aircrew)
08/08 - CMorgan92 (AC)
08/08 - IanMclain1 (NF)
08/10 - Prosingerrenee (QM)
08/15 - SierraBravo1992 (SO)
08/17 - Nukette (NF)
(From Admin: Nukette Thank-you for making this section. You'll do well in boot camp)
September 2011
09/06 - KyleImperato (HM)
09/06 - NakeiaHM (HM)
09/07 - Shortone1286689 (AECF)
09/13 - WiDep (NF)
09/14 - kpatte23 (IT)
09/22 - JRR1978 (IT)
October 2011
10/04 - FSCastano (MT)
10/04 - Beau.B (AECF)
10/24 - FS_Flobot (SECF)
10/31 - UTMan (UM)
November 2011
11/01 - Natsfam09 (SPAC)
11/02 - jym09 (AECF)
11/10 - Rexy's Son (IS)
11/22 - Koles (CS)
11/22 - CaliNavyMom's Son (SECF)
December 2011
12/06 - mms browning (MMS)
12/06 - Jason1142 (MA)
12/07 - Jamjme (SN)
12/13 - irlawerence (HM)
12/13 - Corpsman_UP (HM)
12/13 - Rellsworth243 (AECF)
12/27 - Lunaruby23 (UT)
12/29 - Ciprian (CE)
January 2012
01/09 - Milliron
February 2012
02/06 - Apple-Saucer (AC)
02/06 - Cbell88 (NF)
02/07 - VSJenkins (AZ)
02/07 - Fathom (AD)
02/14 - Rego (IT)
02/14 - MForrest85 (AV)
02/14 - HM.Colyar (HM)
March 2012
03/15 - Imazushi (IT)
03/13 - ashohlee (AECF)
April 2012
04/05 - cttaef21 (CTT/AEF)
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