EMPTYNESTERS

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Comment by Michaels mom Karen on November 9, 2009 at 9:57pm

I got this off another group and though I would share, it was too nice not too. For anyone who have sailors who will be out at sea over the holidays.

A SAILOR'S CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas,the ship was out steaming,
Sailors stood watch while others were dreaming.
They lived in a crowd with racks tight and small,
In a 80-man berthing, cramped one and all.
I had come down the stack with presents to give,
And to see inside just who might perhaps live.
I looked all about, a strange sight did I see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stockings were hung, shined boots close at hand,
On the bulkhead hung pictures of a far distant land.
They had medals and badges and awards of all kind,
And a sober thought came into my mind.
For this place was different, so dark and so dreary,
I had found the house of a Sailor, once I saw clearly.
A sailor lay sleeping, silent and alone,
Curled up in a rack and dreaming of home.
The face was so gentle, the room squared away,
This was the United States Sailor today.
This was the hero I saw on TV,
Defending our country so we could be free.
I realized the families that I would visit this night,
Owed their lives to these Sailors lay willing to fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate on Christmas Day
They all enjoyed freedom each day of the year,
Because of the Sailor, like the one lying here,
I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve on a sea, far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
The Sailor Awakened and I heard a calm voice,
Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice."
"Defending the seas all days of the year,
So others may live and be free with no fear."
I thought for a moment, what a difficult road,
To live a life guided by honor and code.
After all it's Christmas Eve and the ship's underway!
But freedom isn't free and it's sailors who pay.
The Sailor say's to our country "be free and sleep tight,
No harm will come, not on my watch and not on this night."
The Sailor rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent, so still,
I watched as the Sailor shivered from the night's cold chill.
I didn't want to leave on that cold dark night,
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.
The Sailor rolled over and with a voice strong and sure,
Commanded, "Carry on Santa, It's Christmas, and ALL is Secure!"
HONOR, COURAGE AND COMMITMENT

Comment by Seabee Mom Wanda on November 6, 2009 at 11:43am

Blessings to all empty nesters- My son wil deploy in Feb 2009, so many mixed feelings but very proud of him and all of our military families...

Comment by Connie on November 5, 2009 at 11:49am

Lorei, thank you for your kind words. I have gotten involved with the "Blue Star Mothers" and that has helped a great deal. We are in the process of getting ready to host a Christmas party for the children in our area whose parents are deployed. Yes, I am very proud of my boys for their service to our country and service in the NYPD. Thank you

Comment by Lorei on November 5, 2009 at 10:30am

Connie, I think the move has just increased your awareness of empty nest. Our kids had been out of the house for a few years when we moved for a time to another state, and I really was hit so very hard with the "blues" I think it was just too much change. You must be so proud of your family and the way they all are serving! I can't imagine the sacrifices you have made over the years for the NYPD and the Military. I am sure you are a very strong person to have been able to do that. My son also is leaving on Deployment in 2010, and I am more anxious then I have been in a while. I'm finding that getting involved in helping Military Families and servicmen has lifted my spirits some. Look into the Rescure a Sailor Group on N4M, or Molly's Adopt a Sailor on Facebook, just sending cards and small gifts to a sailor far from home has helped me. Don't think for one minute you are whining, I know from reading these post that all of us 'Moms" go through hard times. Send me a friend request if you want to talk. God Bless.

Comment by Connie on November 5, 2009 at 7:56am

Hi ladies, I found this group while searching groups on N4M, and find myself an emptynesters with the blues. Please forgive me if this gets too long and I sound like I am feeling sorry for myself. My youngest son (we have 5 children, 4 boys 1 girl) has been in the navy for 1 1/2 years and is getting ready for deployment in the early part of 2010. I don't understand why after all this time I am beginning to feel the effects of an empty nest. This will be my son's first deployment, but not mine. In 2004, my fourth child, was in the Air Force and he was deployed to Iraq. Not sure I can go through this again. To make me feel worse, is the fact that my husband and I moved with our youngest son to South Carolina from New York. It was a mutual decision because of 9/11 and the dread I was feeling. Our oldest son was at ground zero because he is a policeman. My husband, a retired NYPD was called in to help with the recovery efforts. As of now, three of my sons are on the NYPD and the baby in the navy. I feel like there is a hole in my heart and nobody really understands what I am going through including my husband. Sometime I feel like I am going crazy. Please forgive the rantings of a mother with a broken heart

Comment by carols_kitchen on November 4, 2009 at 3:29pm

It's strange how much our son has been calling lately--a GOOD strange. He is on opposite shifts as his bride, so I think he's just been reaching out. For the past few days, both hubby and I have been home and we share the call. It's funny what our sailor will tell one of us verses the other. And he seems to be reaching out to his Dad much more than ever. How great is that!
Hubby just surprised me yesterday. We get to go see our sailor soon for a short trip. We realize we may only see him for an hour or so due to his work and duty time, but it is still wonderful.
Now, to cook up some things to do with our daughter-in-law if she will have any time off from college. She is such a cutie!

Comment by Therese on November 4, 2009 at 12:41am

I am a trainer in our company for policies and procedures and just smile as I think .. There is no training book or guide on how to deal with Emptynest. Yes there are advice and ideas out there, but no guide or taining on how "we Moms" feel and miss our kids. I also want things to be the way it used to be, but then I know this is not possible, so I think of "what do I want to do now?? Or "what do I want to learn now?" and this helps me. Right now I am learning a new language and oh my gosh is this hard as we are older. I know other languages, but it just seems harder as we reach 50 years of age. I also love it when my son or daughter call or text or emal. I think this is why I am late to work almost each day. The bad part is living here in China we have to share a driver so now my husband is late too.. ooops...but the time difference is 12 or 13 or now that our son is in CA I think the time change di like 15 or 16 hours, so I take the calls whenver they come in. I think once he is at his new assignment we will only be 2 or 3 hours different, so maybe we will hear from him more often. He used to call or text a lot, but after OCS time it is not so much. He won't say, but I think it is because we are oversesas and he has to be careful sending emails or calls. Also, I think his free time he is calling and talking with his fiancee .. that is good and that is how it is suppose to be when you really sit down and think about it.

Comment by Angelika on November 3, 2009 at 9:08pm

Julie, sometimes it's not so bad saying good-bye and other times it's awefully hard.
I know a few of those moms that really looked forward their kids moving out, even pretty distances away. I'm not one of them. Sometimes I think this time it wont be so bad and the goodbye may not be so bad but most times it hit's me later and so much harder. But then I tell myself I raised him to be a confident, driven young man and thats what he is. I did my job and I love him so much and I know he loves me and respects me so much too...and he always makes time for me. Doesnt matter if it's just a text "I love you momma" or whatever it maybe. Really what more can I ask for.

Julie, your son is homesick because you made it a special place. And your not a whiner...you just miss your son..understandably

Comment by jpjades on November 3, 2009 at 11:02am

Hi All,

I haven't been here in a while, but I check in every now and then and read all of you wonderful posts. We just got back from seeing our son in Annapolis last night and this was the hardest trip to come home from yet (except for I- Day). I think it is really starting to settle in my mind that he's not off at college and he wont really ever be coming home to stay, and he's an adult now not my little boy. The trip was good, but I could tell that he was stressed and thought he should be studying instead of seeing us and I really felt guilty. We really wanted to see him, but he is under a lot of pressure being a Plebe, and he wants to do really well at the Academy. He is also getting homesick so I know it is really hard on him too.

So, I'm sitting here in a quiet house, missing the way things used to be and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life now. Some parents look forward to being emptynesters, but I guess I'm not one of them.

Sorry to sound like a whiner, so if you want to slap me up side of the head that's ok, I just wanted a place to release some of my anxiety and thought maybe here would be a good place since Navy moms "get it"

Thanks for listening, Julie

Comment by Therese on November 3, 2009 at 8:18am

Angelika I understand totally what you are saying. My husband and I had to move away from our families due to work, thus when we went home and our homes were about 45 minutes apart we had the guilt trip of who we were staying with and which holiday we were spending where. I have to thank my Mom to always host holidays at night so all the inlaws could have their gatherings in the morning or noon or afternoon, but still we got the talk "oh you leaving so soon?" I promise both my children that I will not have them live "you should spend holidays with us however we love to have you and will juggle our schedule to meet yours" This is my gift to them as they grow with their spouses. I told them to remind me of this promise if ever I fall into the trap of "oh come to our house, etc..." and they smile and said they will but they will want to come. With our son in the Navy, I guess we will have to be flexible and cherish any time of the year we can all gatther together. I too will want to be there to see him when he arrives, but for now will not be able to due to living across the globe.

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